Living, truly living my passion, today on May 18th, 2011, is scary.
In fact, it …
I can see it now.
My life. Two paths. Or a million and one. And that one is the one I need to take, and that other million might just be one.
The one is the safe path. The one where I get a paycheck; where I don’t have to worry or challenge myself or face my fears. The safe path. The easy way. The path I live to be happy. Just happy, content. Almost… obedient. Submissive. Submitted. Surrendered. (And probably in not the best states of health.)
The other is the true path for me. Exciting, exhilarating. Doing what I love, living my passion and not caring if I fail. Not caring if I fall flat on my face. Loving life, loving what I do, being excited and feeling blessed and grateful every, single, moment. Enjoying everything. Challenging myself. Growing. Giving myself ridiculous challenges and strengthening myself with each new victory, with each conquer. Sharpening my sword with life.
And the first path is tempting. Because I want a simple life; I don’t need much. I have tons of abundance regardless of the number in a computer at the bank.
But the second path is unknown. Requires my own hustling. Requires rapid, insane, radical growth. Requires changes and challenges.
And that’s why I know in my heart that the second path is what I’m meant to take if I want to have a life worth living. That if I settled for anything less, it would be the end of me.
I will remember what it’s like to be a kid again, to be playful with this. I will be excited just because I’m trying something new and I don’t know how it’ll turn out. Oh, childlike wonder..!
I will take it step by step. I will go as much as I can, building up my strength and courage until I can blaze a new trail and travel on that trail.
and:
I want euphoria, I want to chase dreams, I want to feel so much of life that I cry and laugh without restraint all in the same moment.
Life is meant to be delicious and full of passion.
>> sich mit anderen mitzufreuen, ohne neid, ohne missgunst, ist eine gabe, die man nur selbst in sich entwickeln kann und soll und es kann anfangs sehr schwer fallen. dennoch, man muss seinen willen und seine aufmerksamkeit schulen, denn glück zu empfinden, ist das, wonach wir im grunde streben und wer fähig ist, an anderer glück ehrlich teilzuhaben, erlebt viel mehr glück als jene_r, der_die leid empfindet. so heißt es in der bhagavad gita: "wenn ein mensch auf die freuden eines anderen in der art reagiert, als wären es seine eigenen, hat er die höchste ebene der geistigen vereinigung erreicht. <<
and i'm sitting in my room, studying german linguistics :)
i love the idea of blogging about things i am grateful for, so i might start doing that over at my other creation (bliss being ~ being bliss) - i wasn't sure about what to do with it anyway :)
i feel drawn to the idea of living in a community in nature more again... it comes in waves... on one side i feel the need to pursue an academic career (see below: cognition science as a goal and stuff), but on the other side, i just wanna have a peaceful piece of land and live a love-filled life with people who are dear to me. together. close to "nature". my parents are searching for a farm house with some land.
i know i could make this dream come true, i am just a tiny wee bit scared. going back to uni is giving me the illusion of having security in this society, at least a little bit. and i do love learning about all kinds of things. i like studying. i have fun studying languages. it's just that whenever i am doing yoga, dancing or somethingpermaculture related... i feel more whole and more home in love. if that makes any sense. [well, it doesn't have to.]
this blog was created because i felt the need to share my crazy outbursts of self-realization with the universe - openly and with authenticity. so, here are my doubts and my dreams about a very simple life... shared with like-minded people. (hearing a beatle song playing in the living room this moment, hehe, nice, i like synchronicities - see blog above).
because... happiness, on one side, is felt inside.
The Middle European interdisciplinary master programme in Cognitive Science (MEi:CogSci) is a joint master's programme, which is offered jointly by the following institutions:
As this curriculum is conceptualised as a joint master's programme, ultimately a joint academic degree will be awarded by the participating institutions. The concept of a joint degree includes a 30 ECTS of student mobility.
Cognitive Science
Cognitive science is an interdisciplinary project involving different scientific fields in science, technology, and the humanities, dealing with the phenomena of cognition - perception, reasoning, thinking, and behaviour - from an interdisciplinary perspective. Cognitive science grew out of the cybernetics movement in the 1950s and has seen a number of paradigm changes since. Anthropology, Artificial intelligence, Biology, Linguistics, Neuroscience, Philosophy, and Psychology have emerged as core disciplines.
The question of human cognition is older than science. One could see the question who we are as one of the very traits that make us human. Cognitive science takes a fresh approach in looking at the phenomena involved from different angles, taking up a question which is deeply philosophical and looking at it in an interdisciplinary manner through the eyes of different disciplinces and scientific methods, frequently testing models by computer simulation or by building robots, conducting experiments, and neuroimaging. This kind of approach gains fundamental importance as it deals with the fundamental substrate of our knowledge-based society.
Interdisciplinarity
Interdisciplinary study programmes are challenging: Coming from one field, each student will have to gain insight into other major disciplines involved. Students will have to acquire the basics, gain insight into different experimental methods, and at the same time learn to engage in an interdisciplinary discourse and gain practical experience in interdisciplinary work, partly in an intercultural environment. The goal is to educate researchers. Thus, "knowing a little bit of everything" will not suffice; students will have to gain profound conceptual knowledge as well as solid methodological research skills. Two years are a relatively short time to reach such sophisticated educational goals. Thus, a curricular architecture has been developed to help students meet these goals; this will mainly occur through the integrative kernel of the curriculum.
Qualification Profile and Job Possibilities
The programme provides graduates with the necessary theoretical / intellectual and empirical tools to pursue an academic career (Ph.D. programme) in cognitive science or in one of the disciplines related to it. Apart from basic research graduates in cognitive science increasingly find work in applied research. Depending on the direction of specialisation, prospective career fields include the IT-sector (interaction design, usability, Computer Supported Cooperative Work, knowledge management, etc.), education, and biomedical and clinical research, as well as economy. The generic skills (such as teamwork, ability to communicate, reflection and evaluation skills, ability to quickly learn and adapt) acquired by graduates are of use in a variety of careers in the private sector. Graduates of cognitive science are especially suited to work in highly interdisciplinary area, bringing experience in mediating between disciplines. These include the fields of IT and education (see above), as well as the areas of consulting, human resources, and science writing.
Cognitive science and related study programmes have been implemented in many European countries over the past ten years; the DFG (“Deutsche Forschungs-gemeinschaft“/German Research Foundation) has determined cognitive science to be one of twelve most relevant areas of research. However, graduates of cognitive science do not necessarily pursue an academic career. A recent survey in the Netherlands with graduates from cognitive science and AI programmes shows that the students found jobs within three months after graduating, many even before. 63% have tenure, 27% temporary contracts, 10% start their own company. 22% work at universities, 10% government, 10% research, 41% ICT, 7% financials, 7% consultancy. 78% of the students are very satisfied with their jobs.
“Das garantierte Einkommen würde nicht nur aus dem Schlagwort “Freiheit” eine Realität machen, es würde auch ein tief in der religiösen und humanistischen Tradition des Westens verwurzeltes Prinzip bestätigen, daß der Mensch unter allen Umständen das Recht hat zu leben. Dieses Recht auf Leben, Nahrung und Unterkunft, auf medizinische Versorgung, Bildung usw. ist ein dem Menschen angeborenes Recht, das unter keinen Umständen eingeschränkt werden darf, nicht einmal im Hinblick darauf, ob der Betreffende für die Gesellschaft “von Nutzen ist”.”
“Wenn die Idee den Menschen innerlich berührt, wird sie zu einer der mächtigsten Waffen, weil sie Begeisterung und Hingabe weckt und die menschliche Energie stärkt und in bestimmte Bahnen lenkt. … Die große Chance für alle, die eine neue Richtung einschlagen wollen, liegt darin, dass sie Ideen haben, während ihre Gegner nur über abgenützte Ideologien verfügen.”
als ich mit dem lesen am ende dieses artikels von thich nhat hanh angekommen war, spürte ich tränen in meinen augen. so voller weisheit. so einfach und so schön. achtsames essen = something very powerful. genauso wie achtsames, bewusstes atmen - achtsames, bewusstes leben als ganzes.
Mindful eating is very pleasant. We sit beautifully. We are aware of the people that are sitting around us. We are aware of the food on our plates. This is a deep practice. Each morsel of food is an ambassador from the cosmos. When we pick up a piece of a vegetable, we look at it for half a second. We look mindfully to really recognize the piece of food, the piece of carrot or string bean. We should know that this is a piece of carrot or a string bean. We identify it with our mindfulness: "I know this is a piece of carrot. This is a piece of string bean." It only takes a fraction of a second.
When we are mindful, we recognize what we are picking up. When we put it into our mouth, we know what we are putting into our mouth. When we chew it, we know what we are chewing. It's very simple.
Some of us, while looking at a piece of carrot, can see the whole cosmos in it, can see the sunshine in it, can see the earth in it. It has come from the whole cosmos for our nourishment.
You may like to smile to it before you put it in your mouth. When you chew it, you are aware that you are chewing a piece of carrot. Don't put anything else into your mouth, like your projects, your worries, your fear, just put the carrot in.
And when you chew, chew only the carrot, not your projects or your ideas. You are capable of living in the present moment, in the here and the now. It is simple, but you need some training to just enjoy the piece of carrot. This is a miracle.
I often teach "orange meditation" to my students. We spend time sitting together, each enjoying an orange. Placing the orange on the palm of our hand, we look at it while breathing in and out, so that the orange becomes a reality. If we are not here, totally present, the orange isn't here either.
There are some people who eat an orange but don't really eat it. They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past, and future. They are not really present, with body and mind united.
When you practice mindful breathing, you become truly present. If you are here, life is also here. The orange is the ambassador of life. When you look at the orange, you discover that it is nothing less than fruit growing, turning yellow, becoming orange, the acid becoming sugar. The orange tree took time to create this masterpiece.
When you are truly here, contemplating the orange, breathing and smiling, the orange becomes a miracle. It is enough to bring you a lot of happiness. You peel the orange, smell it, take a section, and put it in your mouth mindfully, fully aware of the juice on your tongue. This is eating an orange in mindfulness. It makes the miracle of life possible. It makes joy possible.
The other miracle is the Sangha, the community in which everyone is practicing in the same way. The woman sitting next to me is also practicing mindfulness while eating her breakfast. How wonderful! She is touching the food with mindfulness. She is enjoying every morsel of her breakfast, like me. We are brother and sister on the path of practice. From time to time we look at each other and smile. It is the smile of awareness. It proves that we are happy, that we are alive. It is not a diplomatic smile. It is a smile born from the ground of enlightenment, of happiness.
That smile has the power to heal. It can heal you and your friend. When you smile like that, the woman next to you will smile back. Before that, maybe her smile was not completely ripe. It was ninety percent ripe. If you offer her your mindful smile, you will give her the energy to smile one hundred percent.
When she is smiling, healing begins to take place in her. You are very important for her transformation and healing. That is why the presence of brothers and sisters in the practice is so important. This is also why we don't talk during breakfast. If we talk about the weather or the political situation in the Middle East, we can never say enough.
We need the silence to enjoy our own presence and the presence of our Dharma brothers and sisters. This kind of silence is very alive, powerful, nourishing, and transforming. It is not oppressive or sad. Together we can create this kind of noble silence.
Sometimes it is described as "thundering silence" because it is so powerful.
ein zen-meister lebte das einfachste leben, in einer kleinen hütte am fuße eines berges. eines nachts schlüpfte ein dieb in die hütte, als der meister nicht zugegen war, doch er erkannte schnell, dasss es dort gar nichts zu stehlen gab, so bescheiden lebte der meister. diesr kam plötzlich zurück und überraschte den dieb. er hielt den flüchtenden auf und sagte zu ihm: "du bist den weiten weg zu mir gekommen und sollst nicht mit leeren händen wieder gehen. alles, was ich dir geben kann, sind meine kleider, bitte nimm sie an dich." mit diesen worten streifte er sein letztes hemd ab und der dieb ging damit beschämt seines weges.
der meister setzte sich nackt vor seine hütte und betrachtete den mond. "armer kerl", sagte er, "ich wünschte, ich hätte ihm diesen herrlichen mond schenken können!"
[eine zen-weisheit aus: fernöstliche weisheiten für jeden tag des jahres. hrsg. von cordula blahut. wien: tosa, 2003.]
in der früh aufstehen, das fenster öffnen, die augen durch einen weiten blick aufs weiß verschneite land sanft wecken. die luft tief einatmen. ausatmen. es hat minusgrade. wie erfrischend.
ins bad, gesicht waschen, zähne putzen - das übliche. gehört dazu. meinem spiegelbild zulächeln und ab in die küche. ein tässchen oolong tee aufbrühen. daran riechen, es duftet nach maiblumen - schönheit in einer tasse.
yoga. surya namaskara. some asanas to gently make my muscles ready for the day. bowing to the sun, the new day, surrendering my being to love, expanding from within, tasting my limits. sweet.
feeling alive. schau aus dem fenster, es ist so schön, ein paar schneeflocken fallen sanft vom himmel. zieh mir meine lila laufschuhe an. und raus geht's. etwas eisig und daher rutschig, aber lustig. jogge durch den wald und übers feld. gefühl der freiheit und leichtigkeit...
Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably.
☮❤ ☼
“In oneself lies the whole world
and if you know how to look and learn,
the door is there and the key is in your hand.
Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.”
“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”
― Audrey Hepburn
»-(¯`♥´¯)-» ♥ In understanding what beauty is, we shall know love, for the understanding of beauty is the peace of the heart.
i thinkgeorge carlinwas a genius. his stuff really makes me laugh - and think. i love it. this is really, really good medicine. u gotta have humor - and lots of it - in this world. at this time.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins. It's as simple as that. The CIA doesn't kill anybody anymore, they neutralize people, or they depopulate the area. The government doesn't lie, it engages in disinformation. The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something they call sunshine units. Contra killers are called freedom fighters. Well, if crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
So I say live and let live. That's my motto. Live and let live. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family.
- ok, ok, letztere website kenn ich schon länger, aber muss wieder öfter reinschaun. hab stef's bücher immer noch nicht gelesen. es gibt da auch noch das ludwig von mises institute - aber ich hab noch nicht wirklich reingesehen und mit der "österreichischen schule" identifiziere ich mich auch nicht wirklich. (das tu ich mit kommunismus ehrlich gesagt auch nicht und ich lese trotzdem straßen aus zucker). bin eben ein freigeist, der anarchie anhimmelt und sich verschiedene ideen einverleibt - ich muss ja nicht alles schlucken - das, was mir nicht passt, spuck ich gerne wieder aus. ;)
this is soooo funny. und es ist soooo wahr, haha. ja, ich erkenne teilweise mich selbst, aber auch freund_innen darin wieder - und das macht es nur noch lustiger.
über sich selbst lachen können ist sowieso am schönsten.
nur eine anmerkung: ich mag weder eckhart tolle noch deepak chopra. dafür andere "new age-ige" autor_innen umso mehr. ;)
heute gab's für mich den film Eyes Wide Shutals abendprogrammgestaltung.
irgendwann hab ich dann bemerkt, dass mir einiges bekannt vorgekommt...
Rhapsody: A Dream Novel, also known as Dream Story, is a 1926 novella by the Austrian writer Arthur Schnitzler. It details the thoughts and psychological transformations of Doctor Fridolin over a two-day period. In this short time, he meets many people who give a clue to the world Schnitzler is creating for us. This culminates in the masquerade ball, a wondrous event of masked individualism, sex, and danger for Fridolin the outsider.
The book belongs to the period of Viennese decadence after the turn of the 20th century.
"Everything I do with the intention of motivating myself backfires. Within the intention to motivate myself there lies an implicit "should", which immediately sets me at odds with myself, and frequently triggers rebellion. Human souls come into this world full of passion and purpose. And then well-meaning parents and teachers start trying to motivate them."
es passt grad SO sehr auf meine situation. und das sogar im doppelten ausmaße.
macht mich melancholisch auf eine zerbrechlich-zärtlich schöne art und weise.
ich höre sein neues album rauf und runter, ich hör es laut, ich hör es leise.
♥
making mirrors heißt es. von gotye.
und dieses lied, das ich da gepostet hab, hat sich trotzig und unaufhaltsam seinen weg zu mir durchgebahnt, und durch mich hindurch. was soll ich sagen, die musikgötter wissen eben nur zu gut um mein liebesleben bescheid.
ein ausschnitt [aus dem lied//aus meinem {liebes}leben//whatever]:
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened And that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger And that feels sorough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number I guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know...
Habt ihr nicht von jenem tollen Menschen gehört, der am hellen Vormittag eine Laterne anzündete, auf den Markt lief und unaufhörlich schrie: "Ich suche Gott! Ich suche Gott!"? Da dort gerade viele von denen zusammenstanden, welche nicht an Gott glaubten, so erregte er ein großes Gelächter. Ist er denn verlorengegangen? sagte der eine. Hat er sich verlaufen wie ein Kind? sagte der andere. Oder hält er sich versteckt? Fürchtet er sich vor uns? Ist er zu Schiff gegangen? ausgewandert? - so schrien und lachten sie durcheinander.
Der tolle Mensch sprang mitten unter sie und durchbohrte sie mit seinen Blicken. "Wohin ist Gott?" rief er, "ich will es euch sagen! Wir haben ihn getötet - ihr und ich! Wir sind seine Mörder! Aber wie haben wir das gemacht? Wie vermochten wir das Meer auszutrinken? Wer gab uns den Schwamm, um den ganzen Horizont wegzuwischen? Was taten wir, als wir diese Erde von ihrer Sonne losketteten? Wohin bewegt sie sich nun?
Wohin bewegen wir uns? Fort von allen Sonnen? Stürzen wir nicht fortwährend? Und rückwärts, seitwärts, vorwärts, nach allen Seiten? Gibt es noch ein Oben und ein Unten? Irren wir nicht durch ein unendliches Nichts? Haucht uns nicht der leere Raum an? Ist es nicht kälter geworden? Kommt nicht immerfort die Nacht und mehr Nacht?
Müssen nicht Laternen am Vormittag angezündet werden? Hören wir noch nichts von dem Lärm der Totengräber, welche Gott begraben?
Riechen wir noch nichts von der göttlichen Verwesung? - auch Götter verwesen!
Gott ist tot! Gott bleibt tot! Und wir haben ihn getötet!
Wie trösten wir uns, die Mörder aller Mörder?
Das Heiligste und Mächtigste, was die Welt bisher besaß, es ist unter unsern Messern verblutet - wer wischt dies Blut von uns ab? Mit welchem Wasser könnten wir uns reinigen? Welche Sühnefeiern, welche heiligen Spiele werden wir erfinden müssen?
Ist nicht die Größe dieser Tat zu groß für uns? Müssen wir nicht selber zu Göttern werden, um nur ihrer würdig zu erscheinen? Es gab nie eine größere Tat - und wer nun immer nach uns geboren wird, gehört um dieser Tat willen in eine höhere Geschichte, als alle Geschichte bisher war!"
Hier schwieg der tolle Mensch und sah wieder seine Zuhörer an: auch sie schwiegen und blickten befremdet auf ihn. Endlich warf er seine Laterne auf den Boden, daß sie in Stücke sprang und erlosch. "Ich komme zu früh", sagte er dann, "ich bin noch nicht an der Zeit.
Dies ungeheure Ereignis ist noch unterwegs und wandert - es ist noch nicht bis zu den Ohren der Menschen gedrungen. Blitz und Donner brauchen Zeit, das Licht der Gestirne braucht Zeit, Taten brauchen Zeit, auch nachdem sie getan sind, um gesehen und gehört zu werden. Diese Tat ist ihnen immer noch ferner als die fernsten Gestirne - und doch haben sie dieselbe getan!" - Man erzählt noch, daß der tolle Mensch desselbigen Tages in verschiedenen Kirchen eingedrungen sei und darin sein Requiem aeternam deo angestimmt habe. Hinausgeführt und zur Rede gesetzt, habe er immer nur dies entgegnet: "Was sind denn diese Kirchen noch, wenn sie nicht die Gräber und die Grabmäler Gottes sind?"
Aus: Friedrich Nietzsche, Die fröhliche Wissenschaft (1882).
[klick]
