and for no reason

And
For no reason
I start skipping like a child.

And
For no reason

I turn into a leaf

That is carried so high

I kiss the Sun's mouth

And dissolve.

And
For no reason
A thousand birds
Choose my head for a conference table,
Start passing their
Cups of wine
And their wild songbooks all around.

And

For every reason in existence

I begin to eternally,

To eternally laugh and love!

When I turn into a leaf
And start dancing,
I run to kiss our beautiful Friend

And I dissolve in the Truth

That I Am.

~ Hafiz

you are still the process

you are still the big bäng!

feeling good: some quotes

Several years ago I got myself a copy of Dr. David D. Burns book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy - and I still haven't finished reading it. I usually don't finish books like this. Or other kind of books. Anyways, this post isn't going to be about my apparent inability to finish things, it is going to be about certain strategies to battle lows in our mood. I just opened the book and the first lines that came to my eyes (probably because I marked them) are the following:

Why is their pushy approach doomed to failure? It's a basic law of physics that for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Any time you feel shoved, whether by someone's hand actually on your chest or by someone trying to boss you around, you will naturally tighten up and resist so as to maintain your equilibrium and balance. You will attempt to exert your self-control and preserve your dignity by refusing to do the thing that you are being pushed to do. The paradox is that you often end up hurting yourself.
It can be very confusing when someone obnoxiously insists you do something that actually would be to your advantage. This puts you in a  "can't win" situation because if you refuse to do what the person tells you, you end up defeating yourself just in order to spite him or her. In contrast, if you do what the person tells you to do, you feel had. Because you gave in to those pushy demands, you get the feeling the individual controlled you, and this robs you of self-respect. No one likes to be coerced.  
[...]
It is an unfortunate fact of human nature that it can be extremely difficult to do something when you sense you are being forced into it.

[Note: This is basic psychology of human beings. Right? And now take a look at the way modern-day society is built. Take a look at the educational system. The working world. It's just a farce. How could it ever possibly function while making us shiny happy people? Others might call me an incurable rebel, but it's basic psychology, folks, it's the law of physics!]

Always make sure to remind yourself that you are doing whatever you are doing not because someone else told you to, but because it was your own decision to agree to do it. It is in your hands to evaluate to what extent the suggested action is helpful or useful to you. 

Then he goes on with his Should Removal Techniques. Oh, yes. Remove the shoulds. You won't regret it. Getting rid of them can be tough though.


Here are some methods  for reducing all those irrational "should" statements you've been hitting yourself with. The first is to ask yourself, "Who says I should? Where is it written that I should?" The point  of this is to make you aware that you are being critical of yourself unnecessarily. Since you are ultimately making your own rules [Note: Hell, yeah!], once you decide that a rule is not useful you can revise it or get rid of it. Suppose you are telling yourself that you should be able to make your spouse happy all the time. If your experience teaches you that this is neither realistic nor helpful, you can rewrite the rule to make it more valid. You might say, "I can make my spouse  happy some of the time, but I certainly can't at all times. Ultimately, happiness is up to him or her. And I'm not perfect any more than he or she is. Therefore, I will not anticipate that what I do will always be appreciated."
In deciding about the usefulness of a particular rule, it can be helpful to ask yourself: "What are the advantages and disadvantages of having that rule for myself?" "How will it help me believe I should always be able to make my spouse happy, and what will the price be for believing this?" [...]
Another simple but effective way to rid yourself of should statements involves substituting other words for "should" [...] The terms "It would be nice if" or "I wish I could" work well, and often sound more realistic and less upsetting. [...]
Another anti-should method involves showing yourself that a should statement doesn't fit reality. For example, when you say, "I shouldn't have done X", you assume (1) it is a fact that you shouldn't have, and (2) it is going to help you to say this. The "reality method" reveals - to your surprise - that the truth is usually just the opposite: (a) In point of fact, you should have done what you did; and (b) it is going to hurt you to say you shouldn't have.
Incredulous? Let me demonstrate. Assume you've been trying to diet and you ate some ice cream. So you have the thought, "I shouldn't have eaten this ice cream". In our dialogue I want you to argue that it's really true that you shouldn't have eaten the ice cream, and I will try to put the lie to your arguments. The following is modeled after an actual conversation, which I hope you find as delightful and helpful as I did:

DAVID: I understand you're on a diet, and you ate some ice cream. I believe you should have eaten the ice cream.

YOU: Oh, no. That's impossible. I shouldn't have eaten it because I'm on a diet. You see, I'm trying to lose weight.

DAVID: Well, I believe you should have eaten the ice cream.

YOU: Burns, are you dense? I shouldn't have because I'm trying to lose weight. That's what I'm trying to tell you. How can I lose weight if I'm eating ice cream?


DAVID: But in point of fact you did eat it.


YOU: Yeah. That's the problem. I shouldn't have done that. Now do you see the light?


DAVID: And apparently you're claiming that  "things should have been different" than they were. But things were the way they were. And things usually are the way they are for a good reason. Why do you think you did what you did? What's the reason you ate the ice cream?


YOU: Well, I was upset and I was nervous and I'm basically a pig.


DAVID: Okay, you were upset and you were nervous. Have you had a pattern in your life of eating when you've been upset and nervous?


YOU: Yeah. Right. I've never had any self-control.


DAVID: So, wouldn't it be natural to expect then that last week when you were nervous you would do what you have habitually done?


YOU: Yeah.


DAVID: So, wouldn't it be sensible therefore to conclude that you should have done that because you had a very long-standing habit of doing it?


YOU: I feel like you're telling me that  I should just keep eating ice cream and end up like a fat pig or something.


DAVID: Most of my clients aren't as difficult as you! At any rate, I'm not telling you to act like a pig, and I'm not recommending you continue this bad habit of eating when you're upset. What I'm saying is that you're giving yourself two problems for the price of one. One is that you did in fact break your diet. If you're going to lose weight, this will slow you down. And the second problem is that you're being hard on yourself about having done that. The second headache you don't need. [Note: And if you decide to never ever go on a diet anymore, you also "don't need the first one". Just saying.]


YOU: So you're saying that because I have a habit of eating when I'm nervous it's predictable that until I learn some methods for changing that habit, I'll continue to do it.


DAVID: I wish I'd said it that well myself!


YOU: Therefore, I should have eaten the ice cream because I haven't changed the habit yet. As long as the habit continues, I will and should keep overeating when I'm nervous. I see what you mean. I feel a whole lot better, Doctor, except for one thing. How can I learn to stop doing this? How can I develop some strategies tor modifying my behavior in a more productive way?


DAVID: You can motivate yourself with a whip or a carrot. When you tell yourself "I should do this" or "I shouldn't do that" all day long, you get bogged down with a shouldy approach to life. And you already know what you end up with - emotional constipation. If you'd rather get things moving instead, I suggest you try to motivate yourself through rewards rather than punishment. You might find that these work more effectively.  

[Well, I don't believe in self-motivation and I also doubt that rewards, like punishments, are the solution. I'd probably advice this client to read "Intuitive Eating", it totally opened my eyes regarding healthy eating habits. And. I also don't like the way pigs are talked about in this conversation! I've, personally, never seen any pigs on a diet who overeat on ice cream because they have a habit of eating too much when they are nervous. Let's be real, man... hmmkay?]

immer vorwärts - kein zurück

Immer vorwärts, Schritt um Schritt,
Es gibt keinen Weg zurück
Und was jetzt ist, wird nie mehr ungeschehn.
Die Zeit läuft uns davon,
was getan ist, ist getan.
Und was jetzt ist, wird nie mehr so geschehn.
Es gibt keinen Weg zurück.

Dein Leben dreht sich nur im Kreis,
so voll von weggeworfner Zeit,
Und deine Träume schiebst du endlos vor dir her.
Du willst noch leben, irgendwann,
Doch wenn nicht heute, wann denn dann?
Denn irgendwann ist auch ein Traum zu lange her.

Ach und könnt' ich doch nur ein einz'ges Mal
die Uhren rückwärts drehen,
Denn wie viel von dem,
was ich heute weiß,
hätt' ich lieber nie gesehn.

Es gibt keinen Weg zurück.

big TOE

Former NASA physicist Tom Campbell talks about his theory of everything - and I rather like it.

Listening to Tom, I am taking some notes:

If you understand the game you are in, you can become a better player. You can act more productively. Consciousness is "the source". There are many different ideas of what that is, or different forms of consciousness. Consciousness is information, it's data, it is the fundamental reality - all stems from there. It is a self-aware, evolving, growing, changing data field. We are part of that strategy of evolution. What part do we play in making that happen? We have a self-aware potential, but we are kind of at the beginning of our journey. We have a system that is aware that it can exist in different states. There are many forms of those two states.

The information system evolves by lowering its entropy. There is no information in randomness, if you want information, you have to reduce the randomness. Patterns give information. In order to evolve more efficiently, "the one whole" can't just interact with itself - that is very limiting. More complexity means more order, more information, higher adaptable. More and more information, more and more complexity leads to lower and lower entropy. "The one whole" breaks into individual pieces, and the pieces get more complex and evolve by themselves, so the whole evolves with them.

What is high entropy? It is a high level of disorder. Low entropy is ordered. Society is constantly torn down by the conflicting power centers into a state of disorder. The natural state of a low entropy consciousness system is love. What we are supposed to be doing really is growing up and becoming love. Lower entropy and love are the same thing. We are exchanging data with each other on our path. We have a physical, virtual, created reality where all this takes place. Here everything is just digital information (ones and zeros) coming from neurons - everything is data, everything is information.

We are consciousness which is processing information, data. We learn how to interpret the data from birth on. Before we learn the act of interpretation as babies, we have no idea how to interpret the data. We are consciousness and we are getting a data stream and we learn how to interpret it. We create this reality the way we want it. We each get our own, individual data stream - but it's a multi-player game and there are interactions between players. Communication is a difficult thing because we interpret data coming from other players according to our own experiences...

sacred chao

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

reading/listening material:

diydharma

principia discordia

zenarchy

alchemical archives

the illuminatus! trilogy

im nebel

Im Nebel

Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern!
Einsam ist jeder Busch und Stein,
Kein Baum sieht den anderen,
Jeder ist allein.


Voll von Freunden war mir die Welt,
Als noch mein Leben licht war;

Nun, da der Nebel fällt,

Ist keiner mehr sichtbar.

Wahrlich, keiner ist weise,

Der nicht das Dunkel kennt,

Das unentrinnbar und leise
Von allem ihn trennt.


Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern!

Leben ist Einsamsein.

Kein Mensch kennt den andern,

Jeder ist allein.

~ Hermann Hesse

reblogged: challenging sexism

Ways Gender-Privileged Men Can Challenge Sexism

meeca:

(This list will be forever in-progress. Please add on as you see fit).

• Challenge sexist jokes, such as dumb blonde jokes or jokes about rape.
• Avoid using words such as “bitch”, “ho”, “slut.”
• Recognize when you “zone out” when women are speaking, when you value a man’s opinion more than a woman’s, or when you ask a man for information or advice rather than a woman.
• Recognize times when you “zone out” when a woman is speaking because you are sexualizing her.
• In group efforts, take on tasks such as photocopying, note taking, making phone calls, or providing childcare, which are usually given to women; encourage women to take on male-dominated tasks such as leading meetings, or acting as a spokesperson.
• Use gender-neutral language (ex. Firefighter, chairperson).
• Do not tell a woman how she should understand, express, or conceptualize experiences of discrimination and sexism.
• If a woman is offended by your actions or words, do not use tone arguments. If she does not accept your apology, recognize that she does not owe you anything.
• Check in regularly with your intimate partner(s) to make sure they feel comfortable, fulfilled and empowered by your intimacy.
• Do not make sexist jokes about how your partner (or any woman) drags you to go see chick flicks, forces you to go shopping, has you whipped, or is irritable because she is menstruating. Challenge others when they make these jokes. Avoid playing the role of the long-suffering man who has to hold a woman’s shopping bags and put up with her frivolities and vanity. 
• Be polite, thoughtful, and considerate to women because they are individuals who deserve respect, not because you’re a “gentleman” or because of chauvinistic ideals.
• When a woman is completing a task, refrain from stepping in and telling her or showing her “the best way to do that.” Of course, if she asks for your advice or requires help, feel free to do so. But recognize that women are just as competent and capable as you.
• Apologize if you realize you may have offended someone, whether they mention it or not. Do not say: “If that offended you then I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Instead, frankly tell them: “I’m sorry I did that and I recognize it wasn’t okay. I’ll try harder next time.”
• Do not use expressions such as “grow a pair”, “be a man”, “man up”, or “stop being a bitch.”
• Reject forms of media and entertainment that promote sexism. Don’t excuse sexism and discrimination just because “it’s a really good movie.”
• Recognize that just because you are a feminist or work to challenge sexism does not mean you lose gender privilege.
• Do not be offended if you offer to help a woman and she rejects your help. Although you may genuinely have meant to be a good citizen by offering to help lift heavy objects or holding open a door, accept that the woman does not need your help, and that this does not make her a “bitch.”
• Recognize that while some women do hate men and do discriminate against men, that this sort of discrimination occurs in isolation, while sexism against women is backed by centuries of literature, scientific discourse, power/knowledge, philosophy, media representations, “common sense” discourse, etc.
• Realize that representations of women that you might find positive or fair might not be empowering to women. Notice that the vast majority of “positive” female characters or depictions in the media are highly sexualized to appeal to a male audience.
• Understand that much of what you’ve been taught to take for granted (that you are allowed to have an opinion and to voice it; that you can take up all the space you need; that you can become whoever you want; that you can pursue any career or dream you like) is often painfully untrue for women.
• When anyone tells you to stop, or says “no”, or does not actively give consent during any sort of physical contact or intimacy, immediately stop what you are doing. Do not sulk. Do not interrogate if the person is unwilling to explain. Do not complain or make them feel as though their choice to decide what sort of intimacy they want is not an empowered, safe choice.
• Do not make explanations such as “I didn’t mean anything by it”, “It was a joke, you’re just sensitive”, or “I’m not sexist, I have a lot of female friends.” If you have offended someone, listen carefully and learn from the experience. 
• Do not police women’s bodies by deciding that “women shouldn’t plaster their faces with makeup”, or that “women should stop dressing like sluts to please men.” 

(Thank you to everyone who has been reblogging and adding to this discussion. I recognize that this list is certainly simplistic in that it arguably supports a gender binary, and that it glosses over issues of race, class, sexual orientation, age, and so on. I felt this list wasn’t a sufficient place to properly address those issues, but as many of you have mentioned many of these actions can also be taken by allies looking to challenge racism, homophobia, etc.)

(via -burythepast)

everything is connected to everything

es stürmt und drängt

flucht - sucht - ankunft

Immer wieder neu ankommen wollen. Es ist eine Suche oder Sucht nach Flucht, oder vielmehr: eine Suche oder Sucht nach Ankunft. Denn nicht ums Fliehen an sich geht es mir, sondern um das Neu-Ankommen, immer wieder woanders neu ankommen. Mich von der Faszination der Andersartigkeit und Neuartigkeit einfangen lassen. Das ist es. Immer wieder woanders, bei jemand anders, ankommen. Aber niemals wirklich bei mir selbst? Oder jedes mal auf Neue bei mir selbst. Durch das Wegrennen und Hineinrennen ins Unbekannte erlebe ich mich selbst als etwas Lebendiges, Lebhaft-Strebendes, Leidend-Liebendes.

Und bin ich dann wo angekommen, bin ich auch schon wieder weg. Denn mich hält nichts, nirgends. Ungebundenheit. Unheilvolle Ungebundenheit? Unerträgliche Ungebundenheit? Unveränderliche Ungebundenheit? Nein, unveränderlich ist sie bestimmt nicht. Nichts ist unveränderlich. Alles ändert sich, immer. Deswegen auch die ständige Änderung meines Kurses. Einmal hierhin, einmal dorthin - und vor allem immer wieder - wieder weg. Zu dir hin. Doch du drehst dich um und kehrst mir den Rücken zu. Wenn ich nicht zu dir kann, wieso soll ich dann auch wo bleiben. Die Zerrissenheit treibt mich umher, lässt  mich nachts nicht ruhig schlafen, zumindest nicht zu lange am selben Ort - denn dann muss ich weg. Alleine sein. Um einsam zu sein. Um zu fühlen, wie es ist. Ich suche den Kontrast. Der Kontrast haucht mir ein Gespür von Leben ein.

Stabilität macht mir Angst. Ich sehne mich nach Routine, doch will ich nicht in ihr gefangen ewig stagnieren. Stagnation ist Tod. Doch auch der Tod hat seine Reize: Wenn es passiert - also das Sterben - dann weiß ich endlich, wie das ist - das Sterben - oder ich weiß es eben nicht, weil ich dann vermutlich nicht mehr bin, und somit kann ich auch nichts mehr wissen. Wissen ist als Lebendige_r schon schwierig genug, vielleicht sogar zur Gänze unmöglich? Wer weiß, ich kann auch nicht zulange darüber nachdenken, denn ich muss auch schon wieder weg.

Naja. "Müssen". Was muss ich denn schon? Muss ich ich sein? Und was ist das, dieses ich? Kann ich es mir selbst aussuchen? Oder zumindest Teile davon? Lebe ich oder werde ich gelebt? Gelebt wovon? Kann ich mir das zumindest selbst erwählen - das, wovon ich gelebt werde? Was ist, wenn ich mich dazu entschließe, von Liebe und Vertrauen gelebt zu werden? Wie würde mein Leben anders aussehen? Es ist auch egal, ob ich muss und was ich muss und wie ich muss. Es ist alles Gefühl. Alles Fluss. Alles immer woanders, und an derselben Stelle, alles sich ständig wandelnd und in sich selber ruhend, immer neu geboren und sich selbst fressend sterbend wiederauferstehend. Vielleicht fresse ich mich selbst, indem ich andauernd weglaufe, damit ich woanders sterben und bei dir wieder aufwachen kann. Immer wieder neu.

fliegen lernen

wenn die musik 

vom außen ins innen dringt

vom innen ins außen dringt

und dich dabei dazu bringt
dich gar dazu zwingt

dich zu vergessen

dich treiben zu lassen

fließen zu lassen

um gar nichts zu fassen

weil du im alles untergehst

untertauchst in eine anderswelt

dann begreifst du: du fällst

fällst tief, tiefer und tiefer

doch dir ist es egal

fällst frei, freier und freier
alles egal

du fühlst nichts mehr und doch alles

die musik ist in dir und schafft es

dich zum leben zu bringen
deine fesseln zu sprengen

dich wild und heftig wachzuküssen

dir mut einzuhauchen
und dir lieblich einzuflüstern

dass du du bist

dass du alles bist

und doch auch wieder nichts

verschwommene gesichter

viel zu grelle lichter

mach deine augen wieder zu

und sieh dir selbst blind zu

wie du dich loslöst

du frei fällst

du fliegen lernst

♥

genieße die stille

Words like violence

Break the silence

Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl


All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms

Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain

Words are meaningless
And forgettable

♥

von individualismus oder eingebildeter einsamkeit

"Sie haben eine Krankheit, die leider Mode ist und der man jeden Tag bei intelligenteren Menschen begegnet. Die Ärzte wissen natürlich nichts davon. Es ist mit moral insanity verwandt und könnte auch Individualismus oder eingebildete Einsamkeit genannt werden. Die modernen Bücher sind voll davon. Es hat sich bei Ihnen die Einbildung eingeschlichen, Sie seien vereinsamt, kein Mensch gehe Sie etwas an und kein Mensch verstehe Sie. Ist es nicht so?"
"Ungefähr, ja", gab ich verwundert zurück.
"Sehen Sie. Für den, der die Krankheit einmal hat, genügen ein paar Enttäuschungen, um ihn glauben zu machen, es gebe zwischen ihm und anderen Menschen überhaupt keine Beziehungen, höchstens Mißverständnisse, und es wandle eigentlich jeder Mensch in absoluter Einsamkeit, könne sich den anderen nie recht verständlich machen und nichts mit ihnen teilen und gemeinsam haben. Es kommt auch vor, daß solche Kranke hochmütig werden und alle anderen Gesunden, die einander noch verstehen und lieben können, für Herdenvieh halten. Wenn diese Krankheit allgemein würde, müßte die Menschheit aussterben. Aber sie ist nur in Mitteleuropa und nur in den höheren Ständen zu treffen. Bei jungen Leuten ist sie heilbar, sie gehört sogar schon zu den unumgänglichen Entwicklungskrankheiten der Jugend."

- Hermann Hesse, Gertrud

 

 

Einsamkeit ist Unabhängigkeit, ich hatte sie mir gewünscht und mir erworben in langen Jahren. Sie war kalt, o ja, sie war aber auch still, wunderbar still und groß wie der kalte stille Raum, in dem die Sterne sich drehen.

 

Er erreichte sein Ziel, er wurde immer unabhängiger, niemand hatte ihm zu befehlen, nach niemandem hatte er sich zu richten, frei und allein bestimmte er über sein Tun und Lassen. Denn jeder starke Mensch erreicht unfehlbar das, was ein wirklicher Trieb ihn suchen heißt. Aber mitten in der erreichten Freiheit nahm Harry plötzlich wahr, daß seine Freiheit ein Tod war, daß er allein stand, daß die Welt ihn auf eine unheimliche Weise in Ruhe ließ, daß die Menschen ihn nichts mehr angingen, ja er selbst nicht, daß er in einer dünner und dünner werdenden Luft von Beziehungslosigkeit und Vereinsamung langsam erstickte.

 

- Hermann Hesse, Der Steppenwolf

Es war um nichts schade, was vorüber war. Schade war es um das Jetzt und Heute, um all diese ungezählten Stunden und Tage, die ich verlor, die ich nur erlitt, die weder Geschenke noch Erschütterungen brachten. Aber Gott sei gelobt, es gab auch Ausnahmen, es gab zuweilen, selten, auch andre Stunden, die brachten Erschütterung, brachten Geschenke, rissen Wände ein und brachten mich Verirrten wieder zurück ans lebendige Herz der Welt.

wild[e] thought for today

 

click 

LOVE OSCAR WILDE ♥ 

die illusion der verblendung

alles ist so schnell vorbei... wir machen's uns auch einfach nicht leicht!

be beautiful

☮ ❤ ☼

To be beautiful means to be yourself.

You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.

✿~ Thich Nhat Hanh
(¯`♥´¯).✫*
`*.¸.* ´* peαce ´¯`•.¸¸.♥

the planet is fine - the people are fucked

♥ “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
― George Carlin ♥

wien - berlin - praha

not all those who wander are lost

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken.

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

~ a poem written by J. R. R. Tolkien

go get some ♥

däncing with tears in my eyes ♥

Ultravox - Dancing With Tears In My Eyes von EMI_Music

what counts in the end

Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

From Arise India Forum:

“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
(Source: t.co)