Sonntag, 27. November 2016

ah, right here


I need my pitta back.
I am a firebird, I am  a child of the dragon, I am born of fire.
I breathe in the smoke and feel the tobacco heal me.
I am not afraid of the dark, I am the fire of the star that shines right through it, cuts right through it, I am sharp, remember? I am Acrimonia, you were Lacrimosa, I wanted you, you pushed me away, I did forgive you in the end.
I am rising from my own ashes, time and time again, I burn it all down, I love the heat and warmth, I radiate it everywhere I look, everywhere I walk, I leave a trail of sunflowers, I am starlight.
I am made of stardust, I breathe in the smoke, I smoke stars, the stars shine through my eyes, I see where I am walking now, I see my path, I made the path a long time ago, no more swimming in dark matter, the fire is right in my center, I lit it, I am it, I am enlightening the darkness to get to my goals.
I am brave, I am strong, I was empty, now I am filled with my fire again. I may be made of earthy flesh, but I am igniting it every day as I awake again. I am an upward spiral, the breath of the dragon, always facing upwards into the sky, as I see my reflection in the face of the stars, the Sun may be masculine, and yet she is my mother, I am her and she is me. The Moon is who I love, I adore her, the Moon, she is my other half, when I fall for her, I get lost in melancholy and Saturn is happy. But I am the light of Venus, I am the strength of Mars, I am all pitta and I am breathing firebreath, I am ready to jump into the unknown, I am ready to own it, feel it, the excitement of becoming me, as I always do in the end, I am Phoenix, I am not lost, I light my path, I am my path, I walk my path, I am right here.

Freitag, 25. November 2016

where have I been and where the fuck am I now

I got lost somewhere on the road. The road was bumpy and I crashed time and time again, I slipped and fell and fell hard at that. I got up so many times, I lost count. And now I am somewhere in between and nowhere fully present. I am in a spaceless space without any goal. The goal is to have a goal again. The goal is to go somewhere again. The goal is to be some place I feel myself again.