music nostalgia

forgiving myself

Compassion with my Self.

nature, connectios, retreat

I am still in Thailand. I have just done a Yoga and Meditation retreat in a breathtakingly beautiful valley in the mountains of Northern Thailand, it was chilly in the mornings and evenings, really cold in the night and very misty - which I loved. The climate is just perfect there: like Austrian autumn (my fave) from evening to late morning, and like Austrian summer during the day. I was surrounded by green everywhere I looked: GREEN. Seeing the mountains, in their softness and greatness felt deeply healing.

When I got there I met some beautiful people to share my time with. Sadly, they left after only a few days - and that is when my retreat started. Half of it was dedicated to silence, very much inspired by Vipassana meditation retreats. We had a full on schedule, starting at 7am with some Soy Chai Tea to get ready for the daily practice. We did some nasal cleansing - something I look forward to doing when I am back in Europe. I liked the freshness and feeling of cleanliness. And the breath in the following breath work exercises flowed so much better! We did Hatha Yoga, breath work and meditation in the mornings and had a yoga philosophy class and Yin Yoga in the evenings. We also had a chanting session which I loved and on our last day we made a trip to hot springs hidden in the jungle at night time. The stars were shining so bright that night .- it was amazing. I also had a fantastic yoga family and already miss them! Not to mention how much I already miss my yoga teacher - she is such a wonderful being! I am very, very grateful for her guidance and inspiration.

One night I decided to study Hebrew. I am a language freak, I just need to learn a new language. I know a few phrases in Thai, but don't feel like going much deeper for the time being. I love French, but I can wait until I am in France to learn more (I got invited by a beautiful Persian couple living in Paris, so I am looking forward to getting some French and Persian lessons when I visit!). Hebrew is such a beautiful language, and learning the letters is fun. I am using this fabulous website along with Youtube videos and of course I have some support by Israeli people. Would love to spend some time in a Kibbutz as well.

Now I am back in Chiang Mai where I want to do a Traditional Thai Massage introduction course, starting next week. I am already looking forward to going back to Europe. Right now I am trying all sorts of local foods, and experience the consequences! But I also enjoy the tastes and am grateful for that. I feel more connected to Thai culture this time around. Funny, I came here to have all the tropical fruit, but now that I could have it, I choose not to have too much of it. I love the tastes... but somehow I am not in right place for eating a lot of fruit. When I get home I will eat mostly vegetable based meals along with a little bit of fruit (can't wait for the apples!) and cooked starches (they make me feel much more balanced, brown rice and sweet potatoes are amazing). I am so psyched by the thought that I will be able to cook for myself!

Namatse & Shalom!

new beginnings

... and changes. So, I started this blog as a way to talk about my experiences with a fruit-based raw or high raw vegan diet. As someone loving fruit, I chose to call myself "Fruitfay" - however I see that I am gravitating more and more towards a diet based on vegetables (especially the green and orange stuff) and cooked starches. This is why I changed the header of the blog.

At first I thought about changing it to "Veggiefairy" or "Vegfay" - but then I realized that I find it limiting to choose a name according to my momentary dietary preferences. I have just completed a Yoga and Meditation Retreat in the North of Thailand. It was one of the best experiences of my life! I had the most wonderful and powerful yoga teacher and the setting was just breathtakingly picturesque.

The idea was that we get to the yoga platform (surrounded by green mountains) and choose a yoga mat. On the backside of each yoga mat was written a word - like gratitude, awareness, peace etc. This word could also be found on each cup and water bottle for the yoga students. Long story short: I chose simplicity and simplicity chose me. My yoga family started calling me "Miss Simplicity" and I really like that! Hence, the new name.

Namaste!

Consequences

So, after my frustration with a low fat, high fruit raw vegan diet and my longing for having more fun with food again without feeling guilty (I am human after all), I get to experience the consequences. Some things I have learned in the past few weeks:

• Having a soy cappuccino at Starbuck's equals a sleepless night.
• Eating meals at restaurants which contain salt, heated oils and sugar are not a good idea to improve my skin condition.
• Eating cooked food is not going to kill me (right away ^^).
• I feel very clearly that I long for a low fat vegetable based diet. I know I am doing great with vegetables. I am longing for the plain steamed sort of dishes, along with herbs etc.
• I like green tea and oolong tea and if I drink them not in the late afternoon they don't cause any big problems with my sleep, and they make me feel good and mildly energized as well as help to sharpen my mind.
• I don't need salt. Why are they putting that stuff into everything again?
• I don't need oil. Seriously. Who came up with this?
• I really enjoy the taste, smells and textures of Thai vegetarian food.
• I really appreciate to have pleasant to no body odor, good deep sleep, a flat stomach, healthy digestion and glowing healthy skin. Heated oils, lots of salt and refined sugar are not taking me there. 
• Searching for fun is not a bad idea nor is it a sin.
• I can have a deeper satisfaction with my life if I take radical care of my self, internally and externally.
• If I am 100% honest with myself I can see that eating those foods I have been ingesting is not what I truly want.
• There are so many things in life that can be fun. Food is only one of them.
• I fell in love with Yoga, and I really enjoy cycling and running, as well as hiking and reading - and, of course, dancing and hooping. 
• I can still make my food fun - I simply need to take care of this myself instead of relying on others.
• I can find a diet that makes me happy - emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. I think and feel I already have a clue what that diet may look like. In fact, I have been clear about this for about one or two months now. I have just needed some time to get to experience other things in order to be certain about my next move. That time wasn't wasted - it brought me clarity.
• I love my life, I love myself for the choices I make and the consequences that come with it as it promotes my personal growth.
• And yes, others might look at me and observe what I am doing as failure. Finally I am in a place where I can smile at that. They don't know what I know, they don't feel what I feel. They do what they do and experience what they experience, they get their results and make choices according to that. And that is what I am doing as well.
• As I have no clear goal except for experiencing my life in all authenticity, I don't have failures anymore in my life - that is a mental program I no longer subscribe to.
• My mind is like a theater, a movie, a TV show. There are some films running that I know already - they are getting old. It's ready for a new tape, I am ready for switching the channel. And that is a channel called unconditional love.

Peace everyone!