Freitag, 9. Juli 2010

4 months 100% lfrv

i've been 100% low fat raw vegan or 80/10/10rv or raw frugivore since march 2010 and i'm confident - finally! - that this is truly the lifestyle i wanna live. since going lfrv i gained about 10kg. how can that happen on only fruits and veggies and very little nuts and seeds? well, to be honest, i had serious trouble with my past eating disorder - bulimia.

i was bulimic for years, some times it got better and some times it got worse, but it was always there. from december 2009 till march 2010 i ate an average of 900 calories a day - some days 200 cals, some days 500, some days 1000 - and when i binged (which is totally understandable on a starvation diet) - i would purge, take laxatives and avoid eating for as long as possible.

i was a mess. but i was getting skinnier. that was the goal, right? yes. but the cost was simply too high. i lost my sanity, my dreams, my real friends, the connection to nature and myself. i wasn't really there. i'm very happy and grateful that this phase is over now. i'm here, i'm ready to take my life in my own 2 hands and start living. thriving.

but it takes time, patience, trust in myself. i haven't weighed myself in months because i feared it would trigger my ED habits and i also felt that i gained a lot. today i wanted to know. i stepped onto the scales. shock. 58kg. i'm 1,52m. that makes a BMI of 25,1. which makes me officially overweight now.

at first i freaked out a little. shed some tears. but now i come back to 'myself'. this will pass. a good friend of mine experienced something similar which is helpful for me to stay focused and in a grateful position.