4 months 100% lfrv

i've been 100% low fat raw vegan or 80/10/10rv or raw frugivore since march 2010 and i'm confident - finally! - that this is truly the lifestyle i wanna live. since going lfrv i gained about 10kg. how can that happen on only fruits and veggies and very little nuts and seeds? well, to be honest, i had serious trouble with my past eating disorder - bulimia.

i was bulimic for years, some times it got better and some times it got worse, but it was always there. from december 2009 till march 2010 i ate an average of 900 calories a day - some days 200 cals, some days 500, some days 1000 - and when i binged (which is totally understandable on a starvation diet) - i would purge, take laxatives and avoid eating for as long as possible.

i was a mess. but i was getting skinnier. that was the goal, right? yes. but the cost was simply too high. i lost my sanity, my dreams, my real friends, the connection to nature and myself. i wasn't really there. i'm very happy and grateful that this phase is over now. i'm here, i'm ready to take my life in my own 2 hands and start living. thriving.

but it takes time, patience, trust in myself. i haven't weighed myself in months because i feared it would trigger my ED habits and i also felt that i gained a lot. today i wanted to know. i stepped onto the scales. shock. 58kg. i'm 1,52m. that makes a BMI of 25,1. which makes me officially overweight now.

at first i freaked out a little. shed some tears. but now i come back to 'myself'. this will pass. a good friend of mine experienced something similar which is helpful for me to stay focused and in a grateful position.

oh, how beautiful and cute is that?!

i love, love, love it!



Au Revoir Simone



Harbouring a love of synthesizers and vintage drum machines, Brooklyn trio Au Revoir Simone made their UK debut with the release of mini album, 'Verses of Comfort, Assurance and Salvation', on Moshi Moshi Records on October 31st. Offering up a generous helping of charm and intelligence, 'Verses...' is a lesson for us all in what expertly layered synths, ethereal, heart felt and heart-rendering vocals, dreamy melodies, and palpitating drum machine-induced disco beats should sound like when properly woven together. Au Revoir Simone started life in the Fall of 2003 when Erika (Forster, keyboards & vocals) and Annie (Hart, keyboards & vocals) first became acquainted on a long train ride home to NYC from a weekend getaway with friends. Along the way they exchanged stories and ambitions, and discovered that they shared a common desire to form an all-keyboard band. When they returned to NY, they started meeting regularly to play music...

radiohead - creep

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...
run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

5 days of raw food (:

i decided to go low fat raw vegan, high fruit for the next 5 days. i will eat mostly fruit. i guess i will continue drinking tea though,... (: and maybe i'll add in a little cacao powder.

what will i eat?
- apples
- bananas
- oranges, clementines
- cucumbers
- persimmons
- dates
- berries
- pineapple
- mango

i will eat mostly smoothies and mono. (:
if i find good greens, i'll make green smoothies.
i want to feel clean and vibrant again. (:

:*

psssst!

i would love to call myself a skinny bitch, too. ^^ yes, i was inspired by the book title "skinny bitch". it's a great book - i can only recommend it to everyone! (;

back in vienna, i'm not freaking out about 100% raw vegan... whatever. i just do what i want and like it. ^^ i love fruit though, and i eat a lot of it. i also keep it low calorie and colourful. but i also go out to restaurants or order food. XD

just be in the moment. live. let live. no stress. :D

just be fabulous. be a skinny bitch!



((=

universe

how does the universe work? is everything around me just my own imagination? am i creating my own world? is there something like 'coincidence'? what is real? am i dreaming? maybe... somebody is dreaming me? okay, now it's getting a little absurd, huh?
i ran into jens today. and michaela. both were my teachers at the agama yoga school. i ran into them. in bangkok. you know how many ppl there are in bkk...?!? and i ran into them?! then i met nikki. we were spending time at a restaurant. and at night. in the middle of the night, i walk with a friend through the backstreets in the middle of nowhere (ok, near khao san road, i guess) and we walk into an internetcafe... and i run into sam!!?? how the f**** can that happen??? how does the universe work, indeed? i'm pretty amazed.

dan says on facebook:

If you want to regenerate your life you have to have an inner drive to see your potential arise! Honor your creator by continually evolving as a human being! It takes brutal honesty and unwavering commitment! Become illuminated with life energy by eating raw foods, cultivating love, keeping the faith, studying spiritual books and being grateful for the hard knock lessons life brings! Keep growing!

thank you for inspiring me everyday, dan!