tuning in

hey strangers! I am still here, seemingly walking forward, losing goals with every step, yet possibly reaching what needs to be reached with every breath. sometimes I am looking backwards and find what I see resembles the present and probably also the future. without those "ideas" of past, present and future, I feel over-challenged in my day-to-day life, and with those "ideas" I sometimes tend to feel stuck in a net of worrying and wondering. but what's wrong with that? I am getting more and more in touch with what it feels like to have a human existence on this planet, in this time (this time around?).

I want to be honest. sometimes I am thinking about committing suicide (and come on - who doesn't?). it happens sometimes, when I see no point in what I am doing, for example. especially when I am confronted with something I call "society's expectations" and the impossibility of living up to them. ok. so what is that, "society"? is it not just a constructed something lingering in our heads like a (sometimes) unwanted ghost or demon that calls for an acute exorcist intervention? well, or something like that. I am not the best with analogies or metaphors, you see. anyways.

so. what does make me feel better, what has a therapeutic effect on me? well. mostly. it's writing. or creating in some way or form. I have stopped drawing and painting pretty much completely as soon as I entered high school age. I do like translating ancient texts which were written in Latin or Ancient Greek, it's fun. but others have translated all those texts before me, and very likely in a more sophisticated, correct and eloquent way. (well, as I am thinking about it, the books don't need to be ancient; I spotted a copy of the first volume of the Harry Potter series in Berlin in February and it was in Latin, I was so happy. ich hab mich gefreut wie ein apfelstrudel! anyways.)

so. the reason why I actually started writing this blog post: when I move further away from my center, my fictitious place of completely accomplished balance, I get to realize what I actually want that moment. I begin to reflect on a deeper level. pain can be a powerful motor. it can make you do things you wouldn't otherwise consider doing. I can choose to tune in more. tune in. go deeper. tune in. forget forgetting. remember the forgotten. or something like that.

what I am  longing for? more simplicity. minimalism. even purity.
I am craving beauty. I always do. there is beauty in less. there is beauty in awareness.
there is beauty in nature. as in: mountains, rivers, trees, bird sounds, wind,...
In a more "practical" sense this might mean: I'd enjoy daily walks/runs by the Danube, I'd love to relax lying in the sun, I'd love to drink more water again, I'd prefer less. less food, but especially less complex foods, fewer meals a day. and less stress. less stuff. more quality time with my self. and also with my alter ego [♥].
I have never ever found such deep contentedness in everyday tasks like tidying up my room, doing the dishes or preparing a meal. ever.
I realize that I feel a wish to be more consciously connected to my breath. to breathe deeper. to learn the Yogic breath.
I realize that I am a fucking lucky girl, dammit!

when I am grateful... it feels like I am tuning into the frequency I like the most!

namaste and happy easter everyone!

Zufrieden jauchzet groß und klein: Hier bin ich Mensch, hier darf ichs sein!

traditional thai yoga massage certificate!

I finished my Traditional Thai Yoga Massage course yesterday and I did really well in my "exam" - or celebration of knowledge as my friend would call it! I am really happy about this newly acquired skill - I love giving massages, it's such a beautiful gift. My teacher was great and my massage family for those 2 weeks was really wonderful as well, I enjoyed the whole experience. It was quite challenging at times, but we all know that I like challenges (they make me grow).

I am sitting in a nice restaurant/coffee shop at the moment, drinking the best Soy Masala Chai tea I could find in Chiang Mai, it's really nice and spicy with fresh ginger pieces in it! Gotta love it, if it has ginger! Now that my course is over, I feel kind of sad to leave, so many times during my Thailand trip I had to say goodbye to the most amazing people. It can be really tough, but such is a traveler's life! I feel like I have learned so incredibly much the past 3-6 months, I feel more grown up, more alive, more confident and more centered. I am endlessly grateful for all the wonderful teachers who came into my life...

When the student is ready, the master appears.

True that! Since the end of the Summer term in July I spent my time traveling and studying LIFE. Meeting people. I put myself out there in the world to actually experience people, experience life outside my comfort zone. It started with volunteering at the raw food festival in Denmark, continued with my Permaculture Design Course and NVC workshop in England - which was followed by spending time with the most inspiring, loving family (thank you Doug, Rozi and Faychesca, I miss you)... and then I left for Thailand where I had the most fantastic Yoga and Meditation retreat, time for myself and time with very special people, I learned more about Tibetan Buddhism and now I did the Traditional Thai Yoga Massage course... and soon I will be back studying German Philology at the University of Vienna.

Travel often: Getting lost will help you find yourself.

I got much clearer about what I want to do - and that makes me really happy and grateful. I realized how much I love languages, so I want to finish my degree in German and get a TEFL or CELTA certificate so that I can teach English professionally - my goal is to travel to Nepal after my graduation to teach English there. I will take courses in Tibetan/Buddhist studies, SE Asian studies and Entrepreneurship as well (we can choose from a list of courses). I also want to keep educating myself about Massage, Yoga, Permaculture, Meditation and Non-violent Communication. And I want to study other languages (thinking of Hebrew, Sanskrit, French, Thai...)

Did you notice something? Raw foods and Natural Hygiene are not part of the "priority list" anymore... I spent so much time of the past few years of my life thinking about food, diet, nutrition etc. - it just wasn't helpful for me at all. I got so obsessed about it all, and I need a break from mind-based (over/under)eating and special diet "rules", I am not eating raw at the moment, and it isn't my goal either - nor do I fully "believe" in it anymore. For such a long time I thought that "as soon I am low fat raw vegan all my problems will be solved" - but that was never the case and never will be, of course. I have been suffering from bulimia for so long and the compulsive eating is still something I am working on to overcome.

There are 2 books I read here in Thailand that really helped me a lot: "Intuitive Eating" and "The Love-Powered Diet". I also read a book about Adrenal Fatigue and a book about the Traditional Chinese Medicine approach to diet and health called "The Tao of Healthy Eating". I don't really feel like reading information about nutrition much at the moment, but I find Macrobiotics interesting (the whole philosophy about finding balance). I am working on my intuitive eating and I love the concept. Hopefully, I will find time to talk more about it soon!

Happy to come home to Austria for Christmas! I know what my present for my parents will be... a good massage!!

P.S. I think I need to talk more about Pai and post some pictures soon - the time in Pai was my favorite part of my journey... pure magic! Surreal when I think back! Must be because of the mist...

I am in love with Life.

As you think, you travel, and as you love, you attract. You are today where, your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

You cannot escape the result of your thoughts, but you can endure and learn, can accept and be glad. You will realize the vision(not the idle wish), of your heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both, for you will always gravitate towards that which you, secretly most love.
Into your hands will be placed the exact result of your thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no more no less.

Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain or rise with your thoughts, your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.

~ James Lane Allen

path of least resistance

I am going with the flow.
As I dream I travel, as I love I attract.
Feeling good is fun.
Finding things to appreciate is fun.
Being grateful is fun.
My life is a reflection of my thoughts.
My body is a reflection of my vibrations.
I have the power to create what I desire.
And I can start getting closer right now in the moment.
I can practice feeling good.
I can train myself to be grateful every second.
Joyful living, peace and happiness are possible.
They are within my reach.
I am the person I want to be already.
All I need is to embody it in the physical realm as well.
Embrace my being fully.
Living love with all my being.
Here.
Now.
I.
AM.
Namaste!

have fun

You know, I value having fun in my life. I think I didn't allow myself to have enough fun over the past couple of years, sure, I had some fun here and there, but most of the time, I didn't allow myself to fully enjoy those moments.

Fulfilling my need for fun is definitely on my priority list at the moment. I didn't have real fun regularly for so long, that I don't even know what fun is to me. What do I really enjoy doing? I would say I really love dancing and hooping. I love being around people who have a good sense of humor and make me laugh. I enjoy long walks in the woods, in nature. I really like lying on the grass underneath a tree, looking up to the sky, seeing the sun rays shining through the green leaves on the branches. I really like having a fit body and being able to do difficult yoga poses or acrobatic stuff. Will I get my fitness back? Will I get fitter than ever before? I hope so. But I know I can have fun, whatever happens,... yes, I can have fun.

This video shows a scene from one my absolute favorite movies (Practical Magic). This looks like fun to me.
And the song always makes me want to have some fresh coconut water, yummy!



Another thing that is fun for me at the moment is experimenting with cooked food again. I changed my view on cooked foods quite a bit in the last couple of days/weeks. My goal is simply not 100% raw right now. (Again, I don't like the labels I put onto myself. Making these choices gives me a feeling of freedom and I really like that.) I do enjoy all the things I eat. As long as I am alive I will remain open-minded and open to learn. All I have are my experiences, and I am grateful for every single one of them. They are what makes me alive, and I love being alive, that is why I'm here in the first place.

Also, I think there is a lot of black and white thinking going on in the raw food/vegan movement and I want to take a step away from perfectionist thinking patterns. I have had my share of perfectionist obsessions in my young life already. If you love eating all raw, and you feel great with it, then all is fine, and I am glad you enjoy your experience and wish you the best. My path is leading me somewhere else right now, and I am following my intuition.

Love to all! I am off for having some really nice papayas for lunch. What can I say? I simply love fruit.

expressing gratitude for every meal

Today I want to talk about the importance of being grateful for our food. Growing up in a Western country, having enough food and a wide variety of available foods to choose from, it is sometimes easy to take it for granted to be provided with (more than) enough to eat. Well, when I was younger and spent more time with my grandparents, we spoke prayers before every meal. These prayers were Christian prayers and they kind of did not connect me to my food, to the earth. So, I had to say those words without realizing a deeper meaning behind them and soon lost interest in this habit of speaking prayers when I grew older and wasn't told to so anymore. (I am not saying that the trouble was that they were Christian prayers, I am just pointing out that I felt a lack of deeper meaning and connection.)

It has been a few years since I noticed that I missed the pure act of sitting down, being still before having a meal and expressing gratitude for Mother Nature's gift: food. When I spent time with a dear friend in Thailand in 2009, we always folded our hands, closed our eyes and spoke prayers of gratitude to Gaia, either out loud or in silence to ourselves, before enjoying our fruity meals. This simple practice brought me to the present moment and made me feel warm and happy inside. What a lucky girl I am to have food! And such beautiful and nutritious food too!

Sometimes people, especially in the health food scene, get caught in their longings for 'perfect' nutrition. They analyze every bite, plan a lot and get annoyed when something is not ideal, or even beat themselves up for not eating 'the best/perfect' foods. If that is you, I recommend to take a step back and acknowledge that you are extremely lucky to be in a position in which you can even think about all this. I say, be grateful for every bite. The mind is a powerful thing, and what you think can make you feel very miserable - it is not only about the food. Of course, food is important as well. I am just saying, sometimes we make ourselves unnecessarily feel bad. Happiness is a choice, it is not dependent on having 'ideal food' at every meal. (Especially, since every health expert out there seems to have a different take on what 'ideal' means anyway.)

I feel that there is still a bit of anxiety inside myself when it comes to making food choices. I am working on letting go. I ask myself what I feel like, then I choose something to nourish myself with and whatever it is, I am grateful for the food. I am grateful for the sun, the rain, the air, the soil, the microorganisms, the water, the farmers, the trees etc. There is a lot to be grateful for! As you eat your meal in a state of inner calmness, honest gratitude and emotional poise, you will experience a difference in how you feel about yourself and your food.

Since my arrival in Bangkok I have enjoyed fresh coconut water (which is becoming one of my favorite things to nourish my cells), fresh squeezed OJ (this stuff is amazing here, so sweet!), durian (of course! How could I resist?), papayas (love them), lots and lots of dragonfruits (love them) and some bananas. Also had some organic greens.

I LOVE MY FOOD.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR EVERY BITE.

I THANK THE RAIN,

I THANK THE SUN,

I THANK THE SOIL,

I THANK THE TREES.

GAIA, GAIA, GAIA,

THANK YOU.

I will be doing a Yoga Retreat with my friend Jess in two weeks! It will be intense: Hatha classes in the morning, Ashtanga classes in the afternoon. And hopefully relaxing at the beach and getting a nice tan!

I love Bangkok, I am grateful for my time with Jess and I am happy that I have all I need.

Are you expressing your gratitude when you are eating? Do you have a prayer? 

I'm curious.

music can be powerful and healsome

Hey, hey! I have come across a wonderful artist producing the most beautiful, touching and uplifting music I have ever heard. From listening his very first track, I've been captured by these sweet and deep rhythms and lyrics - I love every beat, every word, heck even every syllable!

I have fallen in love with this music and so I feel the urge to share it with you and the rest of the world. I sense this kind of music is an amazing gift and I am filled with gratitude that I have found it. The artist I am talking about is called OGMA. Check out his website and his songs! (You can listen to his first album on his website for free!) - I wouldn't be surprised, if you were enchanted as well. Let me know what you think in a comment below or e-mail, if you feel like it. I am interested in your reaction, as I have experienced waves of love listening to the album "You Are It" over and over the past few days. I mean, the last song is called "Jasmine's Song", so I gotta like it, right? ;)

Here is Samson, the beautiful being behind OGMA, performing two of his songs live:



...SAY YES TO LIFE CAUSE LIFE SAYS YES TO YOU...



Don't you often feel like most music we listen to on the radio/on TV thoughtlessly day in, day out have lyrics that don't have really meaningful and empowering lyrics? Don't you feel that by listening to some songs, you even feel a drain of your energy? Don't you feel that there is a lack of truth and positive intention behind most of them?

Well, at least that's how I feel and that's why I am always excited to come across music like this. I'd love to make music myself one day, as to me this is such a fantastic way of sharing yourself, your uniqueness and your message with the world around you.

Another band I am happy to have discovered as of late is Dispatch. (Thank you, Jess, for your great recommendations!) Check out this song:



say what you want, say what you mean
question yourself, are you really what you seem?
say what you want, say what you mean
question yourself, are you really what you dream?

Enjoy the magic!

feasting and letting go

I had the most fantastic time at the Fresh Food Festival in Denmark last week. The food was fabulous (and I helped preparing in the kitchen which was great fun) and the people were fascinating, loving and kind. I was happy to meet Doug, Rozi and Fay again, among all the others. Like last year, the atmosphere was so good that I was reluctant to leave. Why can't this last forever? I thought. I made some amazing friends this year and loved the experience as a volunteer. I am deeply grateful for the time I spent there and I am looking forward to new events in the future.

The sad news is that when I arrived back home after a very exhausting 24hours plus train and car travel, I found my beloved dog friend called Daisy in a very bad state of health. She had some nasty thromboses which needed to be removed in an operation. She was operated on the day after my return. The operation went without complications, my mom and I were waiting for the doc to finish and take her back home with us. Suddenly the doc showed up, asking us to follow him into the operation room. There she lay on the table, tubes in her mouth, a big scar on her shaven stomach, unconscious. The monitor showed arhythmic heartbeat. And as I as I stood there, hands on her struggling body, she faded away. Her heart stopped beating.

The doc gave her two adrenaline shots right into her tired heart. No reaction. He tried to re-animate her. No success. She was gone. And didn't intend to come back. Helplessly, I watched her die under my hands, my heart was broken. Daisy was ten years old, she came to our family when I was eleven. We had a very special connection, she was my little darling, my baby, my sister, my best friend. She meant the world to me and she always will.

My grief was very, very intense right after her death. We took her lifeless body home with us and laid her on her bed in our living room. I lied down next to her, unwilling to say goodbye just yet, crying a river of sorrowful tear drops. My mom was there with me, crying because of the loss of such a wonderful being. The world would be lonely without her. We buried her in our garden, her head facing east, to the rising sun. White roses grow above her now, a sphere made of white stone marks her grave, saying 'unforgotten' - and that she always will be.

When you grief, you either lose your appetite and eat less or you try to numb yourself out emotionally in order to 'protect' yourself from the pain. I found myself doing an unintentional 24 hour fast and eating comparatively little the past few days. Processing such intense emotions demands a good deal of nerve energy of the body. Sleep is really important. Sitting with my feelings, as painful as they may be, is the best thing I can do for now. And as I invite the pain and feel deeply into it, it fades away slowly, but gradually, and leaves me feeling grateful for my life, the amazing beings in it and the wonderful time I spent with Daisy. I am really lucky that I knew her, I am forever-grateful for the special connection I had with her. Thank you for enriching my life, Daisy. You will always be in my heart. Rest in Peace. I love you.

earning your fruit

First of all, I felt like crap (well, let's say less than ideal) most of today because of yesterday's overeating (?) and lack of sleep. So, I felt like, oh well, going for a run ain't make it worse, so I took off - and it was blissful. I'm really digging the barefoot running lately. I worship my Vibrams (grey/yellow). ♥

So, I ended up running 12km in my favorite park in Vienna. When I was done, I came across a fruiting plum tree! How amazing is that? In the middle of the city! In the end of June! They turned out to be the tastiest small yellow plums I've ever had. So sweet and bursting with the most terrific flavor ever. I kind of fell in love. ♥

Of course, they might have tasted like pure perfection because I've just run quite some kms. :) Fruit always tastes better after working out, doesn't it? I hope I will remember this from now on. It makes life much more enjoyable to earn one's fruit. ♥

thriving on the species-specific diet

Still loving the low fat, high vibe fruits and greens diet and lifestyle. At the moment I am enjoying lots of watermelons, grapes, strawberries, cantaloupes, lots of different tender leafy greens, papayas, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, galia melons, honeydew melons, bananas, dates... I think I have never loved my food as much as I do now ever before in my life. I eat cocktail tomatoes wrapped in butterhead lettuce and go almost crazy about the amazing flavour. Every meal is a surprise and the flavours seem to get more intense and varied. It's amazing! Taste buds are renewed every 7-10 days. Mine are becoming more and more sensitive and I just love it. My sense of smell is improving even more, so that I can inhale and enjoy all the wonderful smells of all kinds of blooming trees and flowers. May is the most beautiful month of the year, indeed. Not only because I am born in May. :) The weather is just perfect. The fruit is great.

Some time ago I posted about the blood type diet. Here is what my hero, Doug Graham, has to say to this:



And the answer is... species-specific diet! Of course! ;)
Looking forward to July to meet him again at the fabulous Fresh Food Festival in Denmark. I am so glad that Petr is organizing this event. My dad will come with me this year. :) I am so proud of my parents, they are moving more and more towards low fat raw vegan. I prepared a fruity lunch last Sunday and it turned out beautiful. Will post pics soon. It looked so gorgeous!

The Vegan Summer Festivals of the Vegan Society Austria are a blast! I met a fellow 811er in Linz last week! That was so amazing!

I'm more grateful than ever. ♥
Do you feel the flow? ♥

hakuna matata

A quick update: Everything is fine, I really enjoy my food, I am deeply grateful for being alive and living a non-violent and abundant lifestyle! I feel like everything is flowing more these days and I need good rest and more sunshine to get more balanced, but overall I feel really good. My skin has improved so much which is a great motivation to stay raw! And the Summer is coming soon, so I'm super psyched for all the yummylicious fruit!

My breakfast today:

Really good video about the importance of a plant-based live food diet:




The Fruitarian Diet. Theoretically, and in practice, a diet composed of high quality, ripe, raw fruits provides the human body with all the nutrients it needs with the very least expenditure of digestive effort, at the same time producing no toxic by-products and so allowing the body to detoxify itself and perform at its peak. Raw fruits are more palatable and provide more energy for a given amount than vegetables and can be prepared with less effort and less waste. Not only can the highest level of health be attained on a fruitarian diet but, because it places so much less wear and tear on the body's vital organs, degeneration is slowed down and the lifespan extended.

From: Health and Survival in the 21st Century by Ross Horne

... and: Don't worry, be happy! Hakuna Matata! NO WORRIES!

precious fluids and goals ♥

Hello beautiful people :)

The positive message first: I have been eating exclusively sweet, juicy fruits and tender leafy greens for over a week and felt fabulous.♥
Then I decided to donate some of my precious blood plasma - I get some money in return and I figured since they check my blood they can tell me which blood type I have. I had to work on Friday and Saturday (need to get up at 5am in the morning) and in addition to that I had lectures on Friday and Saturday like every other day of the week except Sunday. Saturday afternoon I went to make my donation. The nurses were really nice and explained everything to me very kindly. The doctor and secretary were not very helpful at all. They wouldn't give me my blood results and could not tell me my blood type! (The only thing they told me was that my iron level is perfect and that my blood protein levels are more than fine.)

The donation process itself took only about half an hour (unlike about one hour with most other donors; I think this is partly because I am so short and partly because my blood flows much better than the blood of high fat animal products consuming people!). The machine separated the plasma from the other blood particles right before my eyes. I sent positive messages to my blood and felt very grateful for having such amazing fluids streaming in my temple body! However, a lot of doubts came up during the procedure as well. My blood was piped through plastic tubes, got stripped off the plasma, mixed with a citrate solution and pumped back into my veins. Doesn't sound very healthy, does it? I could actually feel the strange taste in my mouth resulting from the citrate. Not ideal. Do not try this at home. ;)

After the donation I came home hungry for fruity sugars and mineral-rich tender leafy greens to recover properly - only to find that my grapes and lettuce were everything but fresh and enjoyable, I had to compost a good part of my food! I got a headache, drank lots of water (I was sooo thirsty!) and went to bed very early at around 7.30pm. Then I slept (with pee breaks) until 8am the next day. I think my body needed rest! I still felt weak the next day. However, since I have been neglecting my running all week until Sunday, I decided to go for a run. I ran about 5km and then walked home with pain in my chest. Of course, I still had no ripe fruit at home! Bummer! So, I decided to go to one of the very few shops that were open. (Shops are closed on Sundays in Austria.) Did I find good fruit? Well. Maybe the melons would have been alright. Apples from the supermarket do not appeal to me anymore. The rest was under-ripe. I craved greens. The greens available did not look very palatable. I ended up buying lots of veggies and some overt fats! (Avocados and cashews.)

I decided to 'treat' myself  with some nicely prepared vegan food (plain cooked vegetables, no salt, no oils). Honestly, I enjoyed the taste and textures. But I got a belly ache and cramps in my stomach from the cashews. I needed a lot of sleep and water. I did not feel fully rested today and continued this day like yesterday: I started with a little bit of melon (amazing!) and had some slightly under-ripe bananas (they need unusually long to ripen this week!) and then I prepared some vegan food again. I typed it all into my Cronometer and it showed that I have filled up on ALL the vitamins (except B12 and D) and minerals! Over 100% in all the vitamins and minerals, including calcium, zinc and iron! At least something, I hope my body can absorb what it needs. ♥

After these two days of high raw vegan I long for all raw fruity goodness once again and I am ready to create a goal list for the future. So, here goes my goal list:

• always have bananas ripening in my cupboard
• have dates in the room for emergencies (I have never had datorade!)
• move more: go for a long, fast walk or run on a daily basis again
• concentrate on mono meals of juicy, sweet, ripe fruit
• overt-free 
• buy more than I think I need!
• forage wild greens and make green smoothies with them
• buy good organic greens and have about 2lb of greens a day
• mindful eating: eat when hungry, stop when satisfied, do not overeat
• be grateful for what I have ♥ 
• work on my Vision Book every day 
• more sun on my skin and less time online!
• continue going to bed early 
• and last but not least: more water! 

So, here it is, my list of goals, I think it is always helpful and also very important for personal success and evolution to set goals for oneself and reflect and re-adjust after some time. I will let you know, how it goes.
Hope you have a great week! ♥

tracking my progress

Hello beautiful people :)

I've just come back from going fruit shopping once again - it is raining today and the air is super fresh and I enjoy the cool breeze. I carried home four hands of bananas, four kilograms of green grapes, a head of lettuce, 4 bags of mixed greens, a kilogram of tomatoes and two kilograms of kiwis. :) After that I blended some bananas, grapes and a bunch of mixed greens into a beautiful green breakfast. It was so good, I highly recommend it!

These are my new special friends, grapes:

This is the beauty of bananas, grapes and mixed greens combined:

And here is my bowl of goodness topped with greenness:

So, I figured that it would be a great gift to myself to track my progress like my fruity friends Lissa and Michele. I think their blogs are so beautiful and inspiring, thank you, ladies!

I also want to say thanks to Barb, who was so nice to mention my little blog in one of her posts. I feel very honoured - now I feel like I need to work on my blog to make it better! :D

I wish everyone a nice day,
I'm off for class (Walther von der Vogelweide, I'm coming!)
Jasmin

thank you

How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence



I love Alanis Morissette. Her music has touched me since I was a child. Thank you, Alanis, for sharing yourself with the world. ♥