have fun

You know, I value having fun in my life. I think I didn't allow myself to have enough fun over the past couple of years, sure, I had some fun here and there, but most of the time, I didn't allow myself to fully enjoy those moments.

Fulfilling my need for fun is definitely on my priority list at the moment. I didn't have real fun regularly for so long, that I don't even know what fun is to me. What do I really enjoy doing? I would say I really love dancing and hooping. I love being around people who have a good sense of humor and make me laugh. I enjoy long walks in the woods, in nature. I really like lying on the grass underneath a tree, looking up to the sky, seeing the sun rays shining through the green leaves on the branches. I really like having a fit body and being able to do difficult yoga poses or acrobatic stuff. Will I get my fitness back? Will I get fitter than ever before? I hope so. But I know I can have fun, whatever happens,... yes, I can have fun.

This video shows a scene from one my absolute favorite movies (Practical Magic). This looks like fun to me.
And the song always makes me want to have some fresh coconut water, yummy!



Another thing that is fun for me at the moment is experimenting with cooked food again. I changed my view on cooked foods quite a bit in the last couple of days/weeks. My goal is simply not 100% raw right now. (Again, I don't like the labels I put onto myself. Making these choices gives me a feeling of freedom and I really like that.) I do enjoy all the things I eat. As long as I am alive I will remain open-minded and open to learn. All I have are my experiences, and I am grateful for every single one of them. They are what makes me alive, and I love being alive, that is why I'm here in the first place.

Also, I think there is a lot of black and white thinking going on in the raw food/vegan movement and I want to take a step away from perfectionist thinking patterns. I have had my share of perfectionist obsessions in my young life already. If you love eating all raw, and you feel great with it, then all is fine, and I am glad you enjoy your experience and wish you the best. My path is leading me somewhere else right now, and I am following my intuition.

Love to all! I am off for having some really nice papayas for lunch. What can I say? I simply love fruit.

thailand, music, dance

I am sitting in the same hotel room I had spent the last 2 weeks of my last Thailand journey and I am listening to this wonderful song I posted below. It makes you want to jump and go wild! I love it! S. J. Tucker is a great artist, I love all the songs I've heard by her so far, all from her album "Blessings".

Music is so powerful, dancing makes me feel alive and connected to my true self, my inner Goddess, it makes me feel free, it helps me to open up and shine my light. I miss dancing. I miss music. I miss singing/chanting. So, now that I have come to Thailand my second time, I will focus to give these gifts to myself.

I am in Thailand again. Wow. This is like a dream. It is surreal. I am here and I came here with a one-way ticket. I came without strict plans. I came to experience life. My life. And I came to experience people, and I mean people who really resonate with me, people I can trust and people who are good for me. I am done with relationships that cause me suffering. This includes the relationship I have with myself, my inner being. I am open for something new.

I am here to heal. I know that I don't need to be in any particular place in the world to accomplish this, as it is more about my inner state of being. I can find peace in my heart wherever I am. I know this. I have experienced this. It just happens that I chose Thailand, my intuition led me here. As I've said, I don't have A PLAN. I have ideas, yes, and many opportunities. Possibilities everywhere I look. What I need now is peace, harmony, relaxation. These are the priorities for now. I have many unmet needs at the moment and my body reflects my inner stress I have been suffering from for such a long time in various ways, various symptoms one could say.

I am ready to heal. I am here now. And that is a miracle in itself. I have a body which is a miracle as well. I am blessed with this life and I am going to make the best out of it. I am here to heal and help. I start with caring for myself. I love helping other people, I love caring for animals, I love caring for the Earth. One step at a time, with peace in every step, I may follow my heart now and we'll see what unfolds.

Blessings!
And relax.
(Before you go wild, I mean.)




I am the firebird!
I am his daughter!
I am the firebird's child!
I am a firebird!
I am his daughter!
And like the flame, I am wild wild wild wild
WILD!
I am the firebird!
I am his daughter!
I am the firebird's child!
I am a firebird, the boldest song you've ever heard
Join in the dance, and make it wild, wild, wild!
Join in the dance and make it wild!

To see a maiden dance around
a fire is not so strange
but fire dances round the limbs
of this uncommon maid!
Be brave enough to burn
and you'll be brave enough to fly!
Join your sister Solace as
she lights the morning sky!

I am the firebird...

Wonders of the water air and
earth are all the same
you'll never know a wonder
like the wonders of the flame!
Freely fly as what you are
and never walk in shame!
You must not fear to blister
if you'd live a life in flame!
I am girl and firebird
and solace is my name!

I am the firebird...

If you're brave enough to dance
then you are brave enough to fly!
Forget what's right and proper!
You won't know until you try!
If you're brave enough to fly,
then you are brave enough to burn!
Take my hand and join me in the
Carnival of Dawn!

I am the firebird...

Sister will you follow me?
Sister will you follow me?
Sister will you follow me?
Sister sorrow walk with me!

(Solace, Sorrow, round and round
Sisters burn the morning down
Solace, Sorrow, round and round,
Sister, burn your Sorrow down!)

Like a flame you must be wild/I am a firebird!

I am the firebird...

You must not fear to blister if you'd live a life in flame!
Freely fly as what you are, keep dancing just the same!
You'll never know a wonder like the wonders of the flame!
I am girl and firebird and Solace is my name!

from Blessings, released 20 June 2007

music can be powerful and healsome

Hey, hey! I have come across a wonderful artist producing the most beautiful, touching and uplifting music I have ever heard. From listening his very first track, I've been captured by these sweet and deep rhythms and lyrics - I love every beat, every word, heck even every syllable!

I have fallen in love with this music and so I feel the urge to share it with you and the rest of the world. I sense this kind of music is an amazing gift and I am filled with gratitude that I have found it. The artist I am talking about is called OGMA. Check out his website and his songs! (You can listen to his first album on his website for free!) - I wouldn't be surprised, if you were enchanted as well. Let me know what you think in a comment below or e-mail, if you feel like it. I am interested in your reaction, as I have experienced waves of love listening to the album "You Are It" over and over the past few days. I mean, the last song is called "Jasmine's Song", so I gotta like it, right? ;)

Here is Samson, the beautiful being behind OGMA, performing two of his songs live:



...SAY YES TO LIFE CAUSE LIFE SAYS YES TO YOU...



Don't you often feel like most music we listen to on the radio/on TV thoughtlessly day in, day out have lyrics that don't have really meaningful and empowering lyrics? Don't you feel that by listening to some songs, you even feel a drain of your energy? Don't you feel that there is a lack of truth and positive intention behind most of them?

Well, at least that's how I feel and that's why I am always excited to come across music like this. I'd love to make music myself one day, as to me this is such a fantastic way of sharing yourself, your uniqueness and your message with the world around you.

Another band I am happy to have discovered as of late is Dispatch. (Thank you, Jess, for your great recommendations!) Check out this song:



say what you want, say what you mean
question yourself, are you really what you seem?
say what you want, say what you mean
question yourself, are you really what you dream?

Enjoy the magic!

gebet an den planeten

Wir alle beten für diesen Planeten,

um jedem neuen Tag in Hoffnung zu begegnen.
Unser Licht durchbricht die Nacht in unsrem Glauben daran.
Dies ist die dunkelste Stunde vor dem Sonnenaufgang.


Es tut mir leid, Tier, denn sie mögen dich so sehr,
sie wollen alles von dir - und am liebsten noch mehr.
Deine Haut ist ihre Kleidung, dein Fleisch ist ihr Essen,
dein Geist ist vergessen.
Bei dem Versuch, das Recht auf Leben in Gesetze zu verpacken,
haben sie bei dir, Tier, einige Sätze weggelassen.
Deine Schreie zu erhören, wurde leider verpasst,
weil du für Menschen keine verständliche Stimme hast,
erhebe ich meine Stimme für dich,
es scheint noch immer vonnöten.
Ihr erinnert euch (nicht): Du sollst nicht töten,
denn du kriegst was du gibst, bist was du isst,
weißt, was das heißt - alles kommt zurück.


Hier ist mein Gebet an diesen Planet,
der Versuch zu beschreiben was mir nahe geht.
Solang sich diese Welt noch dreht,
werdet ihr meine Stimme hören.
Und immer wieder Menschen treffen,
die aufs Leben schwören.


Wir alle beten für diesen Planeten,
Um jedem neuen Tag in Hoffnung zu begegnen.
Unser Licht durchbricht die Nacht in unsrem Glauben daran.
Dies ist die dunkelste Stunde vor dem Sonnenaufgang.


Es tut mir leid, Natur,
denn deine Erben erheben sich gegen dich
und erledigen dich.
Du warst vollkommen in Vielfalt mit allem im Einklang,
bis der Mensch mit Gewalt in dich eindrang.
All deine Schätze, die am Anfang allen gut vertraut,
sie wichen Plätzen die auf Tränen und Blut gebaut.
Ich seh' die Wunden blinder Wut auf deiner Haut entstehn,
obwohl doch die, die dich verletzen, damit gegen sich gehn.
Und dennoch liegt etwas Heiliges in deiner Luft,
an besonderen Plätzen ein besonderer Duft,
der mir sagt, dass jeder Weg so wichtig ist wie jeder Fluss,
und jeder Baum, jeder Berg dort steht, wo er muss.
Sie handeln wider ihren Sinnen, als wären sie blind,
wenn ihre Ziele nicht im Einklang mit den Deinen sind.


Und selbst um dich, Mensch, tut es mir leid,
denn du quälst dich selbst die meiste Zeit.
Im Krieg mit deinem Ego stehst du neben dir,
ewig die Frage verdrängend, weswegen leben wir.
Du findest keinen Frieden hier,
wirst zum seelenlosen Wanderer.
Und dein Lebenskampf geht auf die Kosten anderer.
Verfolg in Liebe all die Ziele, die du gut nennst,
doch gehe nie gegen dein eigenes Blut, Mensch,
denn du irrst wenn du denkst, hier steht jeder für sich,
was gegen uns geht, geht gegen dich.
An jedem Start ist 'ne Ziellinie und wir sind alle gleich weit.
Und aus einer Familie.
Um die Tests dieser Zeit zu bestehn und um weiter zu gehn,
muss hier jeder sein Ego in Demut zurücknehmen.


Hier ist mein Gebet an diesen Planet,
der Versuch zu beschreiben was mir nahe geht.
Solang sich diese Welt noch dreht,
werdet ihr meine Stimme hören.
Und immer wieder Menschen treffen, die aufs Leben schwören.


Wir alle beten für diesen Planeten,
um jedem neuen Tag in Hoffnung zu begegnen.
Unser Licht durchbricht die Nacht in dem Glauben daran.
Dies ist die dunkelste Stunde vor dem Sonnenaufgang.


Mein Gebet an diesen Planet,
der Versuch zu beschreiben, was mir nahe geht.
Solang sich diese Welt noch dreht,
werdet ihr meine Stimme hören.
Und immer wieder Menschen treffen, die aufs Leben schwören.


Wir alle beten für diesen Planeten,
um jedem neuen Tag in Hoffnung zu begegnen.
Und unser Licht durchbricht die Nacht in dem Glauben daran.
Dies ist die dunkelste Stunde vor dem Sonnenaufgang.

- Thomas D

hakuna matata

A quick update: Everything is fine, I really enjoy my food, I am deeply grateful for being alive and living a non-violent and abundant lifestyle! I feel like everything is flowing more these days and I need good rest and more sunshine to get more balanced, but overall I feel really good. My skin has improved so much which is a great motivation to stay raw! And the Summer is coming soon, so I'm super psyched for all the yummylicious fruit!

My breakfast today:

Really good video about the importance of a plant-based live food diet:




The Fruitarian Diet. Theoretically, and in practice, a diet composed of high quality, ripe, raw fruits provides the human body with all the nutrients it needs with the very least expenditure of digestive effort, at the same time producing no toxic by-products and so allowing the body to detoxify itself and perform at its peak. Raw fruits are more palatable and provide more energy for a given amount than vegetables and can be prepared with less effort and less waste. Not only can the highest level of health be attained on a fruitarian diet but, because it places so much less wear and tear on the body's vital organs, degeneration is slowed down and the lifespan extended.

From: Health and Survival in the 21st Century by Ross Horne

... and: Don't worry, be happy! Hakuna Matata! NO WORRIES!

thank you

How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence



I love Alanis Morissette. Her music has touched me since I was a child. Thank you, Alanis, for sharing yourself with the world. ♥

fruit shopping is fun

... and a great workout! This week I bought 20-30kg of oranges, 20-30kg of bananas and 10kg of kiwis. Haha. And some other goodies, like greens, some mangos, grapefruits and papaya. Life is joy- and colourful for sure.



Have a great day!

better people ♥

Lyrics | Xavier Rudd lyrics - Better People lyrics


I ♥!!


I really like and respect John Robbin's work - check out this vid and his NGO EarthSave. He's definitely one of the 'good guys'. ;)

music I ♥

tasty and natural // ideas

This makes me teary-eyed. Love it.

If I went 'into the wild', what would I miss?

• music
• books
• dogs
• internet

Alternatives...

• make music with friends
• make up stories and tell them to others
• make friends with wild animals/adopt wild dogs
• if I stay with a fruity family, I only need internet once in a while to contact my parents

As you can see, I definitely think about leaving my current life behind and joining a fruitarian community in the future. I made this deal with myself: I'll study this semester, work hard and in the Summer months I'll be free to travel to my fruity family and experience some life 'in the wild'. Then I'll decide what's next.

But honestly, what is holding me back? Fear. It's always fear holding me back.

I'll make the best out of this semester, though! :) I'm positive, I have some pretty amazing goals.

Goals for Summer Semester 2011:

• Studying German Philology
• Studying Philosophy ♥
• Fruitarianism (intuition instead of dogma)
• Ashtanga Yoga
• Acrobatics
• Meditation
• Walking + Running
• Listening to great music ♥ 
• Reading + going to the theatre

Love it. ♥

fill me up... flow

i've just enjoyed a lovely bowl of banana-strawberry 'porridge' (basically, just bananas blended with berries plus some chopped bananas and berries stirred in, topped with a tiny bit of raw cacao powder) for lunch. life is sweet - it's meant to be. i ate while listening to soothing piano music and looking out the window... still misty november weather in scandinavia. love it.



yesterday evening my mood became quite depressed. i felt so empty. i used to be such a creative, alive and imaginative girl. so talented. passionate. where did all the life within me go? i blame this on the modern education system. well, mostly. i'm still optimistic that i can get my life, passion, imagination, creativity and positivity back. my flow. maybe even enter a new dimension of all that. becoming more. i mean, i have a lot to be grateful for. and i am.

brainstorm: my interests:
~ i love photography (freestyle)
~ i love nature and life sciences
~ i love beauty; i want to glow from within
~ i love nutrition and health; plant abundance
~ i love movement; walking; running; hiking
~ i love reading; being inspired
~ i love learning; education
~ i love freedom; i need to feel free
~ i love colors; painting; drawing; crafting
~ i love minimalism; in balance
~ i love and need music; listening; feeling
~ i love writing; creating; inventing

i'm a very introvert person. have i always been that way? i think not. life changes me.
how can i find my flow? and how do i get my great memory back? it seems to get worse.
that needs to stop. :)

i love browsing amazon.com. i love books. i'd love to write my own books.
i love browsing youtube.com. i love videos. i'd like to make and share my own videos.
same with pictures. and blogs.

my fave period movies

chocolat
three wishes for cinderella
the illusionist
dances with wolves
interview with the vampire
the a little princess
miss potter
the prestige
pride and prejudice
the secret garden



titanic
alice in wonderland
a beautiful mind
casanova
the chronicles of narnia
crouching tiger hidden dragon
a knight's tale
ballet shoes
the mists of avalon
the name of the rose
the picture of dorian grey
pleasantville

i absolutely adore this wonderful music...

magical soundtrack, period movies & docu love

i enjoy listening to the harry potter soundtrack. it goes so very well with the mysteriously misty november weather outside. i'm still in sweden; staying with a wonderful human being and learning more about myself and what i want in life in the process. and i've discovered my love for watching documentaries and period movies.




In Noctem

Carry my soul into the night
May the stars guide my way.
I glory in the sight
As darkness takes the day.

Ferte in noctem animam meam
Illustre stelle viam meam.
Aspectu illo glorior
Dum capit nox diem.

Cantate vitae canticum

Sine dolore acte
Dicite eis quos amabam
Numquam obliviscar

Sing a song, a song of life
Made without regret
Tell the ones, the ones I loved
I never will forget
Never will forget.

i love latin, i love harry potter, i love melancholic music. perfect.

and i love 'o fortuna' from carl orff's carmina burana:



and of course, one of my recently watched & approved documentaries:



i realized that most of my favourite movies are period movies. there seems to be be something very fascinating about this genre/style for me.



enjoy. :)

vienna & sweden, here i come!

i'm going to vienna tomorrow morning with my parents. :)
haven't finished packing yet.

<.< >.>

well. there's still some time left tomorrow morning, right? *ahem*

(*last-minute-packing*)

^__^


i ♥ viennA & i'm really looking forward to living & studying there again, once i come back from sweden. i have greAt friends there, too. oh, how much i love those people! it's good that i left for a while, it makes me appreciate them and the city life even more. viennA is a pretty green city which i love.

this music vid by a fave artist of mine seems appropriate...
FALCO. r.i.p.




oh. and sweden.
so. excited.
♥



~ about to go for a walk ~

Wien.
Nur.
Wien.

BB ♥

futile. ♥ radical. ♥ dangerous.

hey. did u know?

life's futile.

makes me smile.

that's neither good,

nor bad,

not even makes me sad,

it's what it is in my head,

just futile,

she says with a smile...

it's out. that was my official outing as a futilitarian.

check out this great definition on FakePope:

'No true sects of this belief exist due to its single tenet (or non-tenet); it believes that everything is futile and even to believe that everything is futile is futility at its best--so to truly grasp the idea you have to un-grasp the idea and not even consider even consideration. Unfortunately, every futilitarian movement has not lasted very long at all due to the basic tenets. In fact it is against futilitarian beliefs to write this paper. Futilitarians don't last long and usually find the futility in eating, sleeping, and doing other things that promote life and often die of malnutrition. There is really nothing else to say, or not say, about Futilitarianism. Also, feck off.'

hahaha. life is fun. so, when everything is meaningless - writing this blog is meaningless, breathing, working etc. so, i suggest that i can choose to make my life as much fun as possible/as much as i feel like it. i guess i'd have even more fun, when others have fun and are happy, too. you know. mirror neurons and all. in fact, i'm a f*cking selfish (f)utilitarian hedonistic bitch. girls just wanna have fun, right? i want others to be happy in order to be surrounded by happy people who then trigger even more happiness within me. *muahahaha* should work pretty well. i'm an empathic being. (hence, vegan.) so, i might as well feel other people's joy, heh? :)

i've just finished reading this great book about RADICAL HONESTY.

i really enjoyed it. nice read.

i can recommend it to everyone and anyone out there.

for telling the truth might be dangerous.

and...

'For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously.'

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

found a great online source of information on radical constructivism (seems i like anything radical nowadays, huh? well, 'radical' comes from Latin radicalis "of roots" and from Latin radix "root" - better go to the root of the problem and solve it from there? no? although it's futile, you're right, doesn't matter). neuroscience, cognitive science, philosophy, psychology, linguistics, communication, ecology. it's all so very, very interesting IMHO. i'm glad i'll go back to uni again. i'm happy to study. even if it's futile. it doesn't matter. doing something that intrigues me, fascinates me, allows me to forget about my stupid mind/left brain chatter and i can just be.

some music i love these days...

new enthusiasm

about my life! my future! i've finally found some new goals and ideas. i think i've written and ranted on enough about nutrition and diet on this blog now, i'm just tired of it and bored. fortunately, my life isn't all about food and i want to share just random things and thoughts, thoughts and things here on my blog.

i've just realized that the main reason for me to have this blog is to see my own 'evolution'. i like it to look back at older posts and read about the person i was and the challenges i had to face then. i like to just sit down and write about random thoughts and ideas with my random choice of random words.

this blog is here for me. haha. i don't actually have it to inform others about my seemingly (?) boring life, it is one of my tools of personal development, so to speak, it is here because i want it to exist and because i like to create something, even if there is no deeper meaning to it.

well. is there really anything meaningful? i mean objectively meaningful? heck, i'm not even sure if there is really something like reality. or objectivity. anyways. scio me nihil scire. period.

what i wanted to record here - more or less - is that i decided to go back to uni again. this is a bit ironic, but it feels oh so good. making this decision. feels awesome. i'm going to study biology with a focus on anthropology. will finish my bachelor's degree. then i'll study neurobiology/cognition/ethology. i'm going to be a neuroscientist! i'm psyched, i'm stoked, i'm happy. yes, studying science feels really, really good to me.

and it's nothing necessarily nutrition related. i need a break from all that. not saying i won't post anything about nutrition, diet or food ever again on my blog, that would be rather unrealistic. it's just right now, i'm fed up with that topic! haha.

i love this song my one of my fave bands... muse... ♥

oh, how beautiful and cute is that?!

i love, love, love it!



Au Revoir Simone



Harbouring a love of synthesizers and vintage drum machines, Brooklyn trio Au Revoir Simone made their UK debut with the release of mini album, 'Verses of Comfort, Assurance and Salvation', on Moshi Moshi Records on October 31st. Offering up a generous helping of charm and intelligence, 'Verses...' is a lesson for us all in what expertly layered synths, ethereal, heart felt and heart-rendering vocals, dreamy melodies, and palpitating drum machine-induced disco beats should sound like when properly woven together. Au Revoir Simone started life in the Fall of 2003 when Erika (Forster, keyboards & vocals) and Annie (Hart, keyboards & vocals) first became acquainted on a long train ride home to NYC from a weekend getaway with friends. Along the way they exchanged stories and ambitions, and discovered that they shared a common desire to form an all-keyboard band. When they returned to NY, they started meeting regularly to play music...

radiohead - creep

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...
run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

woman of the earth

i am a woman of the earth
i am the lady of the lake
i hold the moon in my right hand

and we'll walk the path that the old ones walked
and we'll dance the dance as they taught us
and we'll sing the song that the old ones sang

MAGIC

i feel the female power growing within me. i feel the deep connection to mother nature, to this wonderful planet earth. i am living in line with nature's design. i walk the path. ;)

wenn ich dieses lied hoere, moechte ich einfach alles stehn und liegen lassen und tanzen. tanzen, singen, schreien. alles vergessen und den moment leben. ich liebe diese musik. so inspirierend, stark und kraftvoll.

danke, spiral dance!

beautiful music