Consequences

So, after my frustration with a low fat, high fruit raw vegan diet and my longing for having more fun with food again without feeling guilty (I am human after all), I get to experience the consequences. Some things I have learned in the past few weeks:

• Having a soy cappuccino at Starbuck's equals a sleepless night.
• Eating meals at restaurants which contain salt, heated oils and sugar are not a good idea to improve my skin condition.
• Eating cooked food is not going to kill me (right away ^^).
• I feel very clearly that I long for a low fat vegetable based diet. I know I am doing great with vegetables. I am longing for the plain steamed sort of dishes, along with herbs etc.
• I like green tea and oolong tea and if I drink them not in the late afternoon they don't cause any big problems with my sleep, and they make me feel good and mildly energized as well as help to sharpen my mind.
• I don't need salt. Why are they putting that stuff into everything again?
• I don't need oil. Seriously. Who came up with this?
• I really enjoy the taste, smells and textures of Thai vegetarian food.
• I really appreciate to have pleasant to no body odor, good deep sleep, a flat stomach, healthy digestion and glowing healthy skin. Heated oils, lots of salt and refined sugar are not taking me there. 
• Searching for fun is not a bad idea nor is it a sin.
• I can have a deeper satisfaction with my life if I take radical care of my self, internally and externally.
• If I am 100% honest with myself I can see that eating those foods I have been ingesting is not what I truly want.
• There are so many things in life that can be fun. Food is only one of them.
• I fell in love with Yoga, and I really enjoy cycling and running, as well as hiking and reading - and, of course, dancing and hooping. 
• I can still make my food fun - I simply need to take care of this myself instead of relying on others.
• I can find a diet that makes me happy - emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. I think and feel I already have a clue what that diet may look like. In fact, I have been clear about this for about one or two months now. I have just needed some time to get to experience other things in order to be certain about my next move. That time wasn't wasted - it brought me clarity.
• I love my life, I love myself for the choices I make and the consequences that come with it as it promotes my personal growth.
• And yes, others might look at me and observe what I am doing as failure. Finally I am in a place where I can smile at that. They don't know what I know, they don't feel what I feel. They do what they do and experience what they experience, they get their results and make choices according to that. And that is what I am doing as well.
• As I have no clear goal except for experiencing my life in all authenticity, I don't have failures anymore in my life - that is a mental program I no longer subscribe to.
• My mind is like a theater, a movie, a TV show. There are some films running that I know already - they are getting old. It's ready for a new tape, I am ready for switching the channel. And that is a channel called unconditional love.

Peace everyone!

path of least resistance

I am going with the flow.
As I dream I travel, as I love I attract.
Feeling good is fun.
Finding things to appreciate is fun.
Being grateful is fun.
My life is a reflection of my thoughts.
My body is a reflection of my vibrations.
I have the power to create what I desire.
And I can start getting closer right now in the moment.
I can practice feeling good.
I can train myself to be grateful every second.
Joyful living, peace and happiness are possible.
They are within my reach.
I am the person I want to be already.
All I need is to embody it in the physical realm as well.
Embrace my being fully.
Living love with all my being.
Here.
Now.
I.
AM.
Namaste!

have fun

You know, I value having fun in my life. I think I didn't allow myself to have enough fun over the past couple of years, sure, I had some fun here and there, but most of the time, I didn't allow myself to fully enjoy those moments.

Fulfilling my need for fun is definitely on my priority list at the moment. I didn't have real fun regularly for so long, that I don't even know what fun is to me. What do I really enjoy doing? I would say I really love dancing and hooping. I love being around people who have a good sense of humor and make me laugh. I enjoy long walks in the woods, in nature. I really like lying on the grass underneath a tree, looking up to the sky, seeing the sun rays shining through the green leaves on the branches. I really like having a fit body and being able to do difficult yoga poses or acrobatic stuff. Will I get my fitness back? Will I get fitter than ever before? I hope so. But I know I can have fun, whatever happens,... yes, I can have fun.

This video shows a scene from one my absolute favorite movies (Practical Magic). This looks like fun to me.
And the song always makes me want to have some fresh coconut water, yummy!



Another thing that is fun for me at the moment is experimenting with cooked food again. I changed my view on cooked foods quite a bit in the last couple of days/weeks. My goal is simply not 100% raw right now. (Again, I don't like the labels I put onto myself. Making these choices gives me a feeling of freedom and I really like that.) I do enjoy all the things I eat. As long as I am alive I will remain open-minded and open to learn. All I have are my experiences, and I am grateful for every single one of them. They are what makes me alive, and I love being alive, that is why I'm here in the first place.

Also, I think there is a lot of black and white thinking going on in the raw food/vegan movement and I want to take a step away from perfectionist thinking patterns. I have had my share of perfectionist obsessions in my young life already. If you love eating all raw, and you feel great with it, then all is fine, and I am glad you enjoy your experience and wish you the best. My path is leading me somewhere else right now, and I am following my intuition.

Love to all! I am off for having some really nice papayas for lunch. What can I say? I simply love fruit.

ready. set. go!

Hey!

So, I have had another 2 and a half low fat raw vegan weeks, when I was suddenly shocked at the end of the month: I used more than double the amount the money that I had planned to use for food. :o

Needless to say, I got quite sad and frustrated, I checked in the shops what other possibilities there are and found that grain products (whole grain bread and rice) are quite cheap (counting per calorie). Also, potatoes are cheaper than bananas right now. What did I end up doing this week? I experimented. What would happen if I eat cooked carbs vs. raw fruity carbs?

First. Whole grain bread. There is salt in it. Ouch. I don't know, if it was only because of the salt or also because of the gluten, but anyway, I got extremely thirsty, a bit bloated and I felt very itchy and I had very bad sleep on one night. This experiment lasted 2 days.

Second. Potatoes. They work much better for me. Also, I bought some very cheap veggies to eat with them and it tasted really OK (mangoes, melons, bananas etc. taste better though. They are just less stimulating and more expensive per calorie.) Then I had notice something: My pee smelled so bad. Ew. Must be because of the cooked veggies (broccoli, chard, carrot). I like it when my pee does not smell (bad). Also, digestion was not bad, but the elimination process after having a mono fruit day is SO much better. I think I would be OK eating potatoes once in a while, when I do not have ripe fruit at hand. So, this is my second day incorporating cooked potatoes, and I am already ready to end the taters experiment, LOL.

Result. I feel best on fruit and I do not want to let money determine what I eat completely. I considered dumpster diving and just living from the fruits and veggies markets throw away (hello, capitalism!) plus supplementing with cooked rice and potatoes for cheap carbs. But that would mean less (good quality) sleep - I love to go to bed early and dumpster diving is best done late at night. Maybe I will do it once in a while, but not to sustain myself from that.

Future. Bananas are a much better fuel. They are cheap. How hard can it be to manage to have ripe bananas around all the time? Every time I run out of bananas, I run into problems. LOL. Well, considering 100% raw or not. I still refer to myself as a fruit loving vegan - I am not ready to commit to 100% LFRV 100% of the time. The 100% thinking does not do me any good. Usually, if I choose in the moment and have fresh RIPE fruit around, I go for the fruit anyway. :) I sometimes make cooked foods sound better than they are in my head. Plus: I need to be fully honest - I am too lazy and too impatient to cook. I like it simple and instant: mono fruit meals, please.

Also: I HAVE A JOB! Yippie. Finally, I am earning my own money. Hehe. Soooo, I can buy more and better fruit. And I do not have to feel too bad about buying so much fruit. :) Well, my parents were not complaining at all - it is me who wants to feel more... self-dependent. I love my parents and their support. :)

Goal. Being on banana island most days. Eating 2 pounds of greens a day, minimum. I am craving them so badly and I eat them mono. Hehe. Also, to get some Vitamin C and E: oranges and kiwi. Plus, the occasional apples and pears (when they are cheap!).

Well, then, wish me success.

Love,

Jasmin