traditional thai yoga massage certificate!

I finished my Traditional Thai Yoga Massage course yesterday and I did really well in my "exam" - or celebration of knowledge as my friend would call it! I am really happy about this newly acquired skill - I love giving massages, it's such a beautiful gift. My teacher was great and my massage family for those 2 weeks was really wonderful as well, I enjoyed the whole experience. It was quite challenging at times, but we all know that I like challenges (they make me grow).

I am sitting in a nice restaurant/coffee shop at the moment, drinking the best Soy Masala Chai tea I could find in Chiang Mai, it's really nice and spicy with fresh ginger pieces in it! Gotta love it, if it has ginger! Now that my course is over, I feel kind of sad to leave, so many times during my Thailand trip I had to say goodbye to the most amazing people. It can be really tough, but such is a traveler's life! I feel like I have learned so incredibly much the past 3-6 months, I feel more grown up, more alive, more confident and more centered. I am endlessly grateful for all the wonderful teachers who came into my life...

When the student is ready, the master appears.

True that! Since the end of the Summer term in July I spent my time traveling and studying LIFE. Meeting people. I put myself out there in the world to actually experience people, experience life outside my comfort zone. It started with volunteering at the raw food festival in Denmark, continued with my Permaculture Design Course and NVC workshop in England - which was followed by spending time with the most inspiring, loving family (thank you Doug, Rozi and Faychesca, I miss you)... and then I left for Thailand where I had the most fantastic Yoga and Meditation retreat, time for myself and time with very special people, I learned more about Tibetan Buddhism and now I did the Traditional Thai Yoga Massage course... and soon I will be back studying German Philology at the University of Vienna.

Travel often: Getting lost will help you find yourself.

I got much clearer about what I want to do - and that makes me really happy and grateful. I realized how much I love languages, so I want to finish my degree in German and get a TEFL or CELTA certificate so that I can teach English professionally - my goal is to travel to Nepal after my graduation to teach English there. I will take courses in Tibetan/Buddhist studies, SE Asian studies and Entrepreneurship as well (we can choose from a list of courses). I also want to keep educating myself about Massage, Yoga, Permaculture, Meditation and Non-violent Communication. And I want to study other languages (thinking of Hebrew, Sanskrit, French, Thai...)

Did you notice something? Raw foods and Natural Hygiene are not part of the "priority list" anymore... I spent so much time of the past few years of my life thinking about food, diet, nutrition etc. - it just wasn't helpful for me at all. I got so obsessed about it all, and I need a break from mind-based (over/under)eating and special diet "rules", I am not eating raw at the moment, and it isn't my goal either - nor do I fully "believe" in it anymore. For such a long time I thought that "as soon I am low fat raw vegan all my problems will be solved" - but that was never the case and never will be, of course. I have been suffering from bulimia for so long and the compulsive eating is still something I am working on to overcome.

There are 2 books I read here in Thailand that really helped me a lot: "Intuitive Eating" and "The Love-Powered Diet". I also read a book about Adrenal Fatigue and a book about the Traditional Chinese Medicine approach to diet and health called "The Tao of Healthy Eating". I don't really feel like reading information about nutrition much at the moment, but I find Macrobiotics interesting (the whole philosophy about finding balance). I am working on my intuitive eating and I love the concept. Hopefully, I will find time to talk more about it soon!

Happy to come home to Austria for Christmas! I know what my present for my parents will be... a good massage!!

P.S. I think I need to talk more about Pai and post some pictures soon - the time in Pai was my favorite part of my journey... pure magic! Surreal when I think back! Must be because of the mist...

I am in love with Life.

As you think, you travel, and as you love, you attract. You are today where, your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

You cannot escape the result of your thoughts, but you can endure and learn, can accept and be glad. You will realize the vision(not the idle wish), of your heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both, for you will always gravitate towards that which you, secretly most love.
Into your hands will be placed the exact result of your thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no more no less.

Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain or rise with your thoughts, your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.

~ James Lane Allen

path of least resistance

I am going with the flow.
As I dream I travel, as I love I attract.
Feeling good is fun.
Finding things to appreciate is fun.
Being grateful is fun.
My life is a reflection of my thoughts.
My body is a reflection of my vibrations.
I have the power to create what I desire.
And I can start getting closer right now in the moment.
I can practice feeling good.
I can train myself to be grateful every second.
Joyful living, peace and happiness are possible.
They are within my reach.
I am the person I want to be already.
All I need is to embody it in the physical realm as well.
Embrace my being fully.
Living love with all my being.
Here.
Now.
I.
AM.
Namaste!

have fun

You know, I value having fun in my life. I think I didn't allow myself to have enough fun over the past couple of years, sure, I had some fun here and there, but most of the time, I didn't allow myself to fully enjoy those moments.

Fulfilling my need for fun is definitely on my priority list at the moment. I didn't have real fun regularly for so long, that I don't even know what fun is to me. What do I really enjoy doing? I would say I really love dancing and hooping. I love being around people who have a good sense of humor and make me laugh. I enjoy long walks in the woods, in nature. I really like lying on the grass underneath a tree, looking up to the sky, seeing the sun rays shining through the green leaves on the branches. I really like having a fit body and being able to do difficult yoga poses or acrobatic stuff. Will I get my fitness back? Will I get fitter than ever before? I hope so. But I know I can have fun, whatever happens,... yes, I can have fun.

This video shows a scene from one my absolute favorite movies (Practical Magic). This looks like fun to me.
And the song always makes me want to have some fresh coconut water, yummy!



Another thing that is fun for me at the moment is experimenting with cooked food again. I changed my view on cooked foods quite a bit in the last couple of days/weeks. My goal is simply not 100% raw right now. (Again, I don't like the labels I put onto myself. Making these choices gives me a feeling of freedom and I really like that.) I do enjoy all the things I eat. As long as I am alive I will remain open-minded and open to learn. All I have are my experiences, and I am grateful for every single one of them. They are what makes me alive, and I love being alive, that is why I'm here in the first place.

Also, I think there is a lot of black and white thinking going on in the raw food/vegan movement and I want to take a step away from perfectionist thinking patterns. I have had my share of perfectionist obsessions in my young life already. If you love eating all raw, and you feel great with it, then all is fine, and I am glad you enjoy your experience and wish you the best. My path is leading me somewhere else right now, and I am following my intuition.

Love to all! I am off for having some really nice papayas for lunch. What can I say? I simply love fruit.

expressing gratitude for every meal

Today I want to talk about the importance of being grateful for our food. Growing up in a Western country, having enough food and a wide variety of available foods to choose from, it is sometimes easy to take it for granted to be provided with (more than) enough to eat. Well, when I was younger and spent more time with my grandparents, we spoke prayers before every meal. These prayers were Christian prayers and they kind of did not connect me to my food, to the earth. So, I had to say those words without realizing a deeper meaning behind them and soon lost interest in this habit of speaking prayers when I grew older and wasn't told to so anymore. (I am not saying that the trouble was that they were Christian prayers, I am just pointing out that I felt a lack of deeper meaning and connection.)

It has been a few years since I noticed that I missed the pure act of sitting down, being still before having a meal and expressing gratitude for Mother Nature's gift: food. When I spent time with a dear friend in Thailand in 2009, we always folded our hands, closed our eyes and spoke prayers of gratitude to Gaia, either out loud or in silence to ourselves, before enjoying our fruity meals. This simple practice brought me to the present moment and made me feel warm and happy inside. What a lucky girl I am to have food! And such beautiful and nutritious food too!

Sometimes people, especially in the health food scene, get caught in their longings for 'perfect' nutrition. They analyze every bite, plan a lot and get annoyed when something is not ideal, or even beat themselves up for not eating 'the best/perfect' foods. If that is you, I recommend to take a step back and acknowledge that you are extremely lucky to be in a position in which you can even think about all this. I say, be grateful for every bite. The mind is a powerful thing, and what you think can make you feel very miserable - it is not only about the food. Of course, food is important as well. I am just saying, sometimes we make ourselves unnecessarily feel bad. Happiness is a choice, it is not dependent on having 'ideal food' at every meal. (Especially, since every health expert out there seems to have a different take on what 'ideal' means anyway.)

I feel that there is still a bit of anxiety inside myself when it comes to making food choices. I am working on letting go. I ask myself what I feel like, then I choose something to nourish myself with and whatever it is, I am grateful for the food. I am grateful for the sun, the rain, the air, the soil, the microorganisms, the water, the farmers, the trees etc. There is a lot to be grateful for! As you eat your meal in a state of inner calmness, honest gratitude and emotional poise, you will experience a difference in how you feel about yourself and your food.

Since my arrival in Bangkok I have enjoyed fresh coconut water (which is becoming one of my favorite things to nourish my cells), fresh squeezed OJ (this stuff is amazing here, so sweet!), durian (of course! How could I resist?), papayas (love them), lots and lots of dragonfruits (love them) and some bananas. Also had some organic greens.

I LOVE MY FOOD.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR EVERY BITE.

I THANK THE RAIN,

I THANK THE SUN,

I THANK THE SOIL,

I THANK THE TREES.

GAIA, GAIA, GAIA,

THANK YOU.

I will be doing a Yoga Retreat with my friend Jess in two weeks! It will be intense: Hatha classes in the morning, Ashtanga classes in the afternoon. And hopefully relaxing at the beach and getting a nice tan!

I love Bangkok, I am grateful for my time with Jess and I am happy that I have all I need.

Are you expressing your gratitude when you are eating? Do you have a prayer? 

I'm curious.

thailand, music, dance

I am sitting in the same hotel room I had spent the last 2 weeks of my last Thailand journey and I am listening to this wonderful song I posted below. It makes you want to jump and go wild! I love it! S. J. Tucker is a great artist, I love all the songs I've heard by her so far, all from her album "Blessings".

Music is so powerful, dancing makes me feel alive and connected to my true self, my inner Goddess, it makes me feel free, it helps me to open up and shine my light. I miss dancing. I miss music. I miss singing/chanting. So, now that I have come to Thailand my second time, I will focus to give these gifts to myself.

I am in Thailand again. Wow. This is like a dream. It is surreal. I am here and I came here with a one-way ticket. I came without strict plans. I came to experience life. My life. And I came to experience people, and I mean people who really resonate with me, people I can trust and people who are good for me. I am done with relationships that cause me suffering. This includes the relationship I have with myself, my inner being. I am open for something new.

I am here to heal. I know that I don't need to be in any particular place in the world to accomplish this, as it is more about my inner state of being. I can find peace in my heart wherever I am. I know this. I have experienced this. It just happens that I chose Thailand, my intuition led me here. As I've said, I don't have A PLAN. I have ideas, yes, and many opportunities. Possibilities everywhere I look. What I need now is peace, harmony, relaxation. These are the priorities for now. I have many unmet needs at the moment and my body reflects my inner stress I have been suffering from for such a long time in various ways, various symptoms one could say.

I am ready to heal. I am here now. And that is a miracle in itself. I have a body which is a miracle as well. I am blessed with this life and I am going to make the best out of it. I am here to heal and help. I start with caring for myself. I love helping other people, I love caring for animals, I love caring for the Earth. One step at a time, with peace in every step, I may follow my heart now and we'll see what unfolds.

Blessings!
And relax.
(Before you go wild, I mean.)




I am the firebird!
I am his daughter!
I am the firebird's child!
I am a firebird!
I am his daughter!
And like the flame, I am wild wild wild wild
WILD!
I am the firebird!
I am his daughter!
I am the firebird's child!
I am a firebird, the boldest song you've ever heard
Join in the dance, and make it wild, wild, wild!
Join in the dance and make it wild!

To see a maiden dance around
a fire is not so strange
but fire dances round the limbs
of this uncommon maid!
Be brave enough to burn
and you'll be brave enough to fly!
Join your sister Solace as
she lights the morning sky!

I am the firebird...

Wonders of the water air and
earth are all the same
you'll never know a wonder
like the wonders of the flame!
Freely fly as what you are
and never walk in shame!
You must not fear to blister
if you'd live a life in flame!
I am girl and firebird
and solace is my name!

I am the firebird...

If you're brave enough to dance
then you are brave enough to fly!
Forget what's right and proper!
You won't know until you try!
If you're brave enough to fly,
then you are brave enough to burn!
Take my hand and join me in the
Carnival of Dawn!

I am the firebird...

Sister will you follow me?
Sister will you follow me?
Sister will you follow me?
Sister sorrow walk with me!

(Solace, Sorrow, round and round
Sisters burn the morning down
Solace, Sorrow, round and round,
Sister, burn your Sorrow down!)

Like a flame you must be wild/I am a firebird!

I am the firebird...

You must not fear to blister if you'd live a life in flame!
Freely fly as what you are, keep dancing just the same!
You'll never know a wonder like the wonders of the flame!
I am girl and firebird and Solace is my name!

from Blessings, released 20 June 2007

universe

how does the universe work? is everything around me just my own imagination? am i creating my own world? is there something like 'coincidence'? what is real? am i dreaming? maybe... somebody is dreaming me? okay, now it's getting a little absurd, huh?
i ran into jens today. and michaela. both were my teachers at the agama yoga school. i ran into them. in bangkok. you know how many ppl there are in bkk...?!? and i ran into them?! then i met nikki. we were spending time at a restaurant. and at night. in the middle of the night, i walk with a friend through the backstreets in the middle of nowhere (ok, near khao san road, i guess) and we walk into an internetcafe... and i run into sam!!?? how the f**** can that happen??? how does the universe work, indeed? i'm pretty amazed.

complicated miracles

people can be so complicated.
well, i can be very complicated as well.
i have to go to thong sala now... i need food... i am craving greens like crazy the last few days and i am thirsty non-stop. i am detoxing a lot, i think, which is good. really, really good. thank you, dear body for healing yourself. life is a miracle. :))
if you have children's eyes, the whole world is one huge miracle...

my raw family

i found the most amazing people here. most of all, the fellow raw frugivores are sooo friendly and i REALLY like them. the people at the agama yoga school are also very nice people.
everything changes. so quickly. i am changing. every moment. as i am typing this.
confusion.
i am so confused.
somehow in a good way. somehow not. i feel a little bit pain. why do i feel more for a person than the person feels for me? why?
the raw family will leave me alone very soon. that's ok. i mean, it's their lives.
LIVE AND LET LIVE.
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
BE AUTHENTIC.
LIVE YOUR DREAMS.
LOVE IS THE ANSWER.

love you all!

ko phangan news

i am on the island. it is hot and humid. i am searching for fruit. i vommitted several times on the ferry. i made friends with a swedish girl and a guy from israel. have not met any frugivores yet. planning to go to agama yoga school tomorrow. have little time, so i will keep it short.
:)

healing song by mati

this is a very inspirational song by mati, a friend of mine whom i know from the famous 30bad community. i will hopefully meet him when i am in thailand. he will make a 3 months healing journey to se asia as well. however he will start travelling in bali.
right when i heard this song the first time, i started singing the song too and it felt sooo good. :)




Healing:

In my microworld im healing
Turning shadows into light i'm healing
why is pain hard to let go, why does this fear just hold me on...
all is part in the process of my healing

i'm healing
i'm healing
i'm healing

I'm going deep inside, i'm healing
watching thoughs, not identified im healing
a rainbow nation, a new cration, this generation will live the dream
go beyond where there is no separation

i'm healing i'm healing i'm healing

In our macroworld we are healing
our mother earth needs so much healing
from separation to unity
no more countries, no boundaries
just one earth, singing songs of healing

we are healing
we are healing
we are healing

PEACE!

THAILAND HEALING JOURNEY

i will fly to bangkok, thailand tomorrow evening. the journey begins! this is such an amazing thing happening now in my life, i cannot even believe it! this is a dream come true for me & i am so happy about it. i formed the wish for something like that some months ago and i first thought something wonderful like that would never happen to me. but i believe that everything is possible. i believe in creating my life. and obviously IT WORKS. :)
i am very happy that i can share this journey with you! get inspired! love yourself! believe in yourself! you know you can be the person you really want to be. NOW.

i am looking forward to...

... starting yoga (http://www.agamayoga.com/)
... feeling better and better everyday
... healing myself
... enjoying the sunshine
... munching on the sweetest & juiciest fruits ever
... eating the best durians ever
... being myself
... swimming in the beautiful blue ocean
... running & walking at the beach
... taking pictures of the tropical nature
... photographing my new friends, the fruits, myself
... forgetting about my duties
... journalling about my experiences, thoughts and dreams
... loving the progress
... doing something on my own
... letting go of the past
... being open for the new
... experiencing great adventures
... laughing a lot
... speaking english most of the time
... being good to myself
... meditating while looking at the endless ocean
... going to the fruit markets
... talking with my new friends and having fun
... dancing in the moon light
... getting tanned
... becoming the most beautiful me
... creating a leaner and cleaner body every day
... breathing clear tropical ocean air
... making a trip to the jungle
... reading books
... blogging & e-mailing (i won't forget about my friends^^)
... bathing in waterfalls

and so much more!
i will take the most beautiful and inspirational pics, i promise. i have already booked. i am so thankful that i have this wonderful opportunity. i am grateful for my loving and caring parents for supporting me in every way. i am grateful for having such lovely friends who invite me to their homes. i am grateful that i am doing this. i love myself even more now because i give myself the chance to make this awesome experience. i have always wanted to do such a trip. i love the tropics and since becoming frugivore, i adore the climate and the exotic fruits even more.

thank you, universe!
thank you, goddess!
thank you, friends!
thank you, parents!
thank you, honored self!
thank you!

i am sending my grateful thoughts and good vibes to all of you. may the magic inspire your life as well. i wish you much love and peace on your journey as well as i wish it myself.

I LOVE MYSELF. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE THE UNIVERSE.
SPREAD THE LOVE.

day 21 - had some hard days

hello everyone!

it has been a while since my last up-date on here. i actually wanted to make videos, but honestly, i feel too embarassed about my looks right now. i have been reading "Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating by Gillian Riley" lately.

it helps me a lot. i recommend it to everyone who has problems with addictive eating. i realized that i flee myself into 100% 811rv to avoid to cope with my addictive overeating, only to come back once in a while and have a huge binge. this is why i have not lost the excess weight so far. everytime i felt that my clothes are starting to fit better and i felt lighter, i sabotaged my success. the real problem is that i have not changed my relationship to food and my behaviour till now. the problem is not only the type of food i eat when i have a binge - it is mostly the amount of it that is doing me no good.

i am thinking about going to thailand for some time to visit a friend and to take the time to heal myself. be with myself and people who share my views. enjoying the sun and freshly picked tropical fruit. taking it easy for some time and maybe starting yoga.

have a fruity day!